I'm sure you have seen ads like this on Freecycle:
"Wanted: any and all baby stuff, I'm going to have a baby and can't afford anything!" Chances are pretty good it's someone who is reselling baby stuff for a profit, but....if not, isn't birth control cheaper than a baby? If you can't afford a baby why risk having one?
"Wanted: any and all wedding stuff, getting married and can't afford it!" Clue for you, sister: if you can't afford anything for your wedding, you can't afford to be married! Do you think the Magickal Money Fairy will whip money out of her nether regions to pay your bills?
My other favorite: "Wanted: Pure bred dog of certain breed/birds/other pet, cannot afford to buy one but will love it!" What about when it gets sick and needs vet care? What about when it needs DECENT food and not Ol' Roy? If you can't even afford the Humane Society adoption fee to rescue a pet in need, what makes you think you can afford to care for a pet over the course of its lifetime? (Oh but wait, morons don't think about these things)
Kind of reminds me of the time we were giving away our very nice recliner on Freecycle. Hated to do it but we had no room. The lady who came to get it called me on my cell phone (we were not home at the time) and said she saw one of our outdoor cats and wanted to take it home. I told her it had a respiratory illness and needed vet care for antibiotics; she said, "OH I don't have any money. Let me know when you take it to the vet and I'll come get it!" My jaw almost broke the phone as it fell open. I gently asked, 'If you can't afford a vet what happens if she gets sick later? What about when she needs to be spayed?" She replied, "Well we don't have any money for stuff like that. She'll be an indoor cat so she don't need to be spayed." I told her no, I'm sorry, kitty has to stay with us. What an IDIOT. She begged and pleaded a couple of times and went on about how her husband just loved the kitty; I told her I'm sorry the kitty is sick, she can't go anywhere right now. She ended the call with, "Well when you get her better, let me know, I'll take her!" Oh I just bet you would. I'd rather the cat live here outdoors as a well-fed stray than go to who knows what kind of living hell at your house. At least she'll get vet care if she needs it. As we have a webcam focused onto the front of the house, we replayed the video of this woman and her family when we got home; I wanted to see if they LOOKED like white trash morons. The verdict? Guilty guilty guilty, lifetime sentence for exceeding the legal limit of white trash moron-ness!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
WACKTARD WEDNESDAY
I had to come home and take a couple of Excedrin tonight after work.
We have a long time customer, let's call her MM. She has this annoying propensity to call the shop and ask questions about what we would loan on this or that, and if she doesn't like what she hears (normally from me), she hangs up. You can be right in the middle of talking and she'll just slam the receiver down. Sometimes she'll sit and argue; I guess she is blissfully unaware that we have Caller I.D. and I wonder if she knows how many times her hang-ups have resulted in lowered loan amounts for her that day? :-) Yes I'm just kind of petty that way. She has lost many items, so it's quite amazing that she'll stand right in your face and argue flat out, when you won't give her more on something than you normally give. She loves to use the, "I'm a long time customer!" line, and she denies it hotly every time it's pointed out that she has a 30% unredeemed rate on her loans. It's as if someone else pawned and lost this crap, not her! It's not so, and you'd better not try to say differently! (Though I do just to shut her up before her drug-addled mind blows up) Today she came in, I smiled at her and greeted her even though inside I could feel the blood pressure ratcheting up in anticipation of her being her normal, druggie unpleasant self. I asked her, what can I do for you? She said, "I'm so excited, my husband just called and he has a new spirit guide! A red fox approached him at work today!" Now, my first reaction is not something printable. I wanted to grab my chest and stumble around and say, "Lizbeth, this is the big one, I'm coming to see you honey" and then ask her, didn't Redd Foxx die a long time ago? (har har). Either that or ask her, "What in the hell did you SMOKE TODAY?" But no, I just smiled and said, "Wow, that's unbelievable!" and she exclaimed, "Yeah right? Isn't it great? I'm so happy for him!" I wanted to ask her, does this mean the Weed God isn't his spirit guide any more. After having to give her back a bunch of her DVD's (the same ones that I always give back to her, because we don't take them, but she insists on bringing them back IN CASE someone is stupid enough to take them) we finished her loan and she left, waving and giddily saying, "Goodbye!"
Another gal came in today. Let's call her Nelly. She's a real winner. She used to come in and cash her many Social Security and Babydaddy checks, and she would spend an UNGODLY amount of time telling me all her business. I never did act interested, I only smiled and nodded politely while desperately trying to find other customers to wait on. But she's one of those people who just can't take a hint, as long as you are standing within a few feet of her you are a captive audience. Let's see, her man at the time was in jail, he'd hit her over the years but he was her soul mate, she had just had his name tattooed all over herself, SRS had gotten involved and taken one of her kids because he was a little rough with one of them (though she was sure that the kid was just making it up, her man couldn't possibly be guilty), he was writing her from jail that he was wanting to start all over and how he LOVED HER and she just could not wait for him to get out, etc. How they were going to work on his cheating problem, how he had changed, etc. Yes, you know all that usual story! I had not seen her in about two years, and today she walked in with one of our regulars (whom I like) and her man, who was toting a toddler. This woman is about 6 feet tall and hairy, she looks like a hairy feminine man. Her husband looks like a hairy caveman. Both of them are tattooed to the gills, they both have unibrows, they both smell from lack of regular bathing. She has in the past complained how she doesn't have enough money to live on, all the while buying copious amounts of DVD's and knives; the typical handout queen. She would bring in all kinds of junk and want loans on it, and be very rude if we turned it down. She would push and push to the point that you'd just want to smack her.
She dragged her man and her mini-man toddler (smaller version of the parents, obviously inheriting the worst of all their genetics, underbite included) up to the counter while my brother and I were standing there and said, "See our little miracle!" The first thing that went through my mind was, "It's a miracle you got laid!" I just smiled and nodded and murmured how cute...(is it a boy or girl!?!?!?! CRAP!!)..their baby was. As they were walking to the door my brother leaned over and whispered, "It's a miracle you got a dick in you!" I all but peed my pants laughing right then and there!
Today Crazy Biatch came in. That's the nice version of what we all call her. She is just about this side of crazy. This woman has been a pain in the ass every minute since I first had to deal with her. First of all, she does not deal well with women. The other gals who have worked at the shop ALL had issues with her of one kind or another. Get her a male employee however and she is a different person altogether! She's bold and she tries to flirt and gets this high, giddy inflection in her voice. It's a creepy kind of fascinating. She used to call years ago from her job at Wal-mart and say she could not come get her loan that day, because she was out of town. (Isn't that nice Wal-Mart here in town could give you a phone to use all the way in wherever you say you are?) This happened a lot. Not only would she say she was out of town but she'd go on and on with some story du jour; it was really a waste of time. You could sit on the phone listening to her story about why she could not come out, watching time fly by on the wall clock. I finally got to the point where I'd just cut her off and say, "And what day will you be here?" She did NOT like this at all and started to get very rude, huffy, and short with me any time she dealt with me after that. ("OH no she knows I"m full of shit!") I know it's rude to interrupt a customer but come on, how many times are you going to call and spin a tale, why can't you just SAY you aren't coming in and leave it at that? NO ONE CARES about your made-up stories that just get more whacked out by the month! She's also one of these Gladys Kravitz type women; she would listen in on employees talking to each other behind the counter (relaying needed info back and forth about this customer or that loan or whatever the question was) and she'd ask, "What? What about ___?" "They did what/they brought what in?" things like that. An employee could walk by and say to me in a low voice, "I put that last loan on shelf so and so if you need to write it down" and she'd lean in and demand, "WHAT did he say?" I told her oh, nothing! And she would insist on knowing what was said, as if her very life depended on it. (Is she a touch paranoid maybe?) If I told her some version of a nice 'it has nothing to do with you' she acted like I had just insulted her to the highest. She has even listened in to conversations of customers in front of her in line, and then asked myself or other employees what we were talking about. Maybe her mother never taught her any better? If you won't tell her, she just gets frigidly hostile. (So now I pretend I don't hear her, or misunderstand her and just smile sweetly at her, which makes her even nuttier! HA!) The very last straw for me was two years ago; she had called in repeatedly to delay a loan that was due, to the point it was three weeks past its due date. This being late stuff was getting to be a routine for her by then. Finally after it was three weeks past due (any other company would have just deposited the check the day it was due!) she calls again and needs another week extension, because her car 'was still in the shop'. She had been talking to other people when she'd called in before, so I had no idea what her excuse had been (nor did I care!). She started in with her sad tale of woe, how her car was still in the shop, she couldn't possibly come in anytime soon to pick up the check; she then went on and on and on into this elaborate tale about mechanics and cars until I just said, "Well, let's not worry about you having to find a way over here, I can just deposit this check and that will save you a trip!" She sat there in silence for a minute, like she could not believe what was being said (because that is not what she expected to hear.) What better solution to someone who has been having transportation troubles for three weeks, than to deposit the check and save her a trip? Apparently she took this as me being hateful to her, and so re-launched her long story about the car. I finally interrupted her and asked, "What date will you be in, please? We've already held it three weeks so we need to get this closed very soon. I would be happy to deposit this so you don't have to worry about getting down here, i'd be glad to do that for you." NO! SHE DID NOT WANT IT DEPOSITED! She would be in within a few days! Ok, fine, I made a note (under all the other notes from all the other times she'd called and told her story and said she'd be in!) and then forgot all about Crazy Biatch. She did call back and ask 'for the owner' but hung up before I could put him on the phone. I guess she does not know we are all related and it doesn't matter.
But Crazy Biatch didn't forget about ME! She came in a week later and I had to help her since no one else was available. I smiled at her and greeted her and she just stood there with her mouth in a tight line and frowning. I asked her, what day do you want this on, we need to get this back on your payday so what day works for you?" Apropo of NOTHING she says, "My car REALLY DID BREAK DOWN!" She said it in such a pissed off, fuming, I've-been-sitting-on-this-for-years way that it almost made me take a step back. I told her, that's ok, I'm just concerned about getting your loan back on your payday so it's convenient for you again. She leaned forward, mouth tight, face red, and insisted, "NO REALLY. My car really did break down. I can bring the receipt if you don't believe me!" (WHAT THE HELL is your problem lady?) I told her, no that's ok, let's deal with the loan we have right now, what day is good for you?" Again, she insisted, "I have the receipt, I'll bring it, my car DID break down, I can prove it! I know you don't believe me" I finally lost it, and said, "I don't care about the car, we are past the car, we are in the here and now so let's get this one set up for you, ok?" She didn't speak to me the rest of the time she was there. If only it could always be so.
Last year she came in, and my brother waited on her. She leaned forward and said something to him, that he could not understand. He leaned forward and asked, her, "What?" She shook her head back and forth and said, "Nevermind!" So he didn't mind. He processed her loan, sent her on her way. About an hour later she called the shop and spoke to my dad, and said that she had told 'that young man' to turn her check over and he had ignored her! Luckily she was told it just had to be a misunderstanding because none of our employees would treat you that way on purpose, etc. When my dad mentioned this to my brother, we were both astounded that she had dared act like this. I was standing nearby and I had witnessed the whole thing and he had indeed leaned forward to ask her what she had said. She is really a nutball. After that day she became my dad's customer!
Two weeks after this phone call she comes in again, and I notice that she won't approach the counter anytime someone who is un-white is nearby. She would get close, and up would walk someone who was black or Hispanic, and bam she'd walk away and circle like a plane waiting for the runway to clear so she could land. Finally she got to the counter; I saw her there yet walked past her and waited on a young Asian girl who had just walked up to pay her bill! (I know, that's so petty, but give me a break, this lady is a conductor on the Crazy Train!) Luckily, my dad was available to help her after that (or.... not so lucky) He took her loan paperwork out of the folder and started to work on it; she reached over and turned the check upside down while he was reading it. He flipped it back over so he could continue working; she reached over and flipped it right back over. Now his first mistake was putting the stuff where she could reach it; I never put the loan paperwork where someone could just reach over and grab the check (what if they didn't pay for it first? Then we'd have nothing to deposit!). My brother and I both saw the Crazy Biatch do this and neither one of us could BELIEVE what we were seeing. She leaned in and started talking to my dad and I could hear bits and pieces; she claimed that 'some black guy stole my checking account information by looking over my shoulder!" I'm not even going to go into how ridiculous she is. How would you know who and when it happened, when you write loans ALL OVER TOWN you imbecile? So after she left, my dad shook his head and we commiserated with him.
When she came in two weeks later, I had to help her this time. I tried to avoid her; by this point every time she walked in the door my brother would yell, "Your customer" and run into the back, or he'd suddenly say, "OH I have to go to the bathroom!" and disappear. This time, I was stuck with her. I took her loan papers and put them behind the monitor so she could not reach them; it was like a tribe of ants were marching in her pants watching her squirm this way and twist that way trying to see how she could grab that check. I swear to you, if she had reached a hand over into my space to grab that check I would have smacked it for her! But we processed her loan and she did a lot of mumbling at me, but she never said anything I could hear or understand. I smiled at her the whole time, made small talk chit chatting about the weather but she never would address what was really bothering her; maybe she's just passive-aggressive. She didn't call and tattle on me!
Two weeks later, my dad has to help her again. This time I saw her get out of her car and all but grabbed the next two customers so I would not have to put up with her. FIrst she reached over and grabbed all the loan papers (including check) and scooted them far away from dad, turning the check over while she did so. He reached over and took them back, again she reached over and turned the check upside down while dad was trying to type from it; this is after she spent ten minutes circling the store waiting for all the NON WHITE PEOPLE to leave the counter. She would just crap if we had any minorities working for us; I'm sure she'd claim they stole her identity too. (WHO would want to BE HER? SHE can't even stand to be her!) Dad put up with her crap again, and she left. She made some jokes and comments to him before she left, that she thought were funny. I stood there with a fake smile pasted all over my face and trying to pretend to laugh like I thought what she was saying was funny (because that's about the only way to really get any kind of positive reaction from her). But inside my mouth was hanging open that someone could be that goofy and still function in society somehow.
She came in again a few more times and I had to wait on her, and she keeps making flipping motions like she wants me to flip the check over (since I don't let her touch it). The more you don't do it, the madder she gets and the more she makes the flipping motion until it looks like she's damned near having a seizure at the counter. All the while she mouths "TURN IT TURN IT". Finally I said, it's covered, don't worry about it, I have it taken care of. But that's not good enough for her, she can't stand not being able to touch it and flip it over. If a non-white person walks up while we are doing her loan, she all but jumps over the counter to turn that check over. I just want to tell her to grow up, that white people steal information too so deal with it. At any rate the last few times she's been in she's been going off about her life and she's so mental, it's hard to say anything back to her and not have it sound as annoyed as I feel. Supposedly she's been a nurse (oh my GOD!) and she was running off about how some patient's doctor told her to do this and this but she knew better so she didn't. How predatory all these payday loan places are (yet when I mention how no one holds guns to people's heads and makes them write the checks, she gets very angry and her face turns red!) How she has this friend or that friend who doesn't have a car so she's calling the television stations trying to drum up sympathy to get them cars (I almost asked her why she didn't recommend her mechanic. HA HA.) Then she mentioned how some very annoying publicity-hound car dealership manager would probably donate a car if she called enough TV stations; this guy is a notorious P.R. hound and he only does 'charity' when it will get him good P.R., everyone in town knows it and I especially find him fake since I met him a few times while at his dealership getting my car serviced. He is as smarmy and fake as any politician. (You watch, someday you'll see a notice in my blog that he's running for office!) Anyway I just HAD to make a comment like, "____ will do anything for publicity!" And that set Crazy Biatch OFF like I'd just insulted her daddy! I just smiled at her after she made a bunch of self-defensive comments and changed the subject; she apparently has a hard time letting go of the last time in the conversation you pissed her off because she brought up the smarmy car dealer several more times (probably hoping to get a rise going?). Every time she brought his name up, I sighed sweetly, looked heavenward, made prayer-hands and said dreamily, "He's such a good man. He's a saint!" She eventually gave up. Then she started in with how she and a friend were going to get churches to give them money to get them out of their payday loans. It took nothing short of an iron fist to the lips to keep my mouth shut. One of my biggest peeves is people who go around getting money from churches that they do not deserve! You don't need money from the church to pay off your payday loan because you are poor; there are infinitely more people in more need for church money and here this psychotic twat is scamming to get a church to pay off her payday loan. (She'll just be back two months later to write another!) Finally, Crazy Biatch hit my limit of fake nice. She is anyone's customer but mine from now on. Just....can't....fake....it....any....more!
The drunk guy who always has a story about why he needs a loan came in; about 75% of the time he will make a comment like, "I wish you weren't married" or some such catchy line. Every time he hits on me I tell myself that someday I'll tell him, "I'm allergic to the stench of old beer" but never do. At any rate he tried, again, to convince me that we had loaned a huge amount on his crappy old tools in the past, yet I found an amount about half of what he claimed. Then he said, "These are great tools, you SHOULD lend me $50!" I asked him why would I lend you $50 today on tools we lent you $20 on six years ago, they don't appreciate in value. He did accept his usual amount. He needed to go get beer, after all. We wouldn't want to sober up so we could get a job! What is so sad is that he has the skills to make a lot of money, but whenever he gets a job (about every two years) he gets fired within a few months because he can't stop having accidents at work due to his alcoholism. It's sad to think that he works in manufacturing plants with machinery that could harm OTHERS due to his negligence, but he could care less about anything besides the booze. What a waste.
And finally we have a bonafide paranoid schizo coming in, who is NOT regular with his medications. At first I just thought he was rude; he has yelled at other employees and he yelled at me once (I just kept on walking like I didn't hear him screaming in anger). Then he started going off at one of our employees about soldiers and wars and Jesus and...my GOD...too many things to even remember. It was all violent and scary and totally crazy. His daughter came in that day and led him away. What is so scary, is that he buys knives. Before I knew he was schizo, I always had this weird feeling from him that always made me step away out of reach after I'd handed him a knife; now I sound paranoid huh! But he just gives off this vibe, and he LOOKS like he is just >thisclose< to killing you with his bare hands every time he looks at you or talks to you. The more you talk to him, it's like he gets crazier by the word. Some days are much better than others; in fact the other day he came in and was so civil and polite and 'normal' you'd never know anything was wrong with him. I personally don't feel comfortable selling him weapons considering how unsafe I feel in his presence but there is nothing that says he CAN'T have weaponry. A gun, I could refuse to sell him (and we all would!). UPDATE: He's been getting his meds regularly and has come to trust us, so he's not bad any more. Thank goodness!
We have a long time customer, let's call her MM. She has this annoying propensity to call the shop and ask questions about what we would loan on this or that, and if she doesn't like what she hears (normally from me), she hangs up. You can be right in the middle of talking and she'll just slam the receiver down. Sometimes she'll sit and argue; I guess she is blissfully unaware that we have Caller I.D. and I wonder if she knows how many times her hang-ups have resulted in lowered loan amounts for her that day? :-) Yes I'm just kind of petty that way. She has lost many items, so it's quite amazing that she'll stand right in your face and argue flat out, when you won't give her more on something than you normally give. She loves to use the, "I'm a long time customer!" line, and she denies it hotly every time it's pointed out that she has a 30% unredeemed rate on her loans. It's as if someone else pawned and lost this crap, not her! It's not so, and you'd better not try to say differently! (Though I do just to shut her up before her drug-addled mind blows up) Today she came in, I smiled at her and greeted her even though inside I could feel the blood pressure ratcheting up in anticipation of her being her normal, druggie unpleasant self. I asked her, what can I do for you? She said, "I'm so excited, my husband just called and he has a new spirit guide! A red fox approached him at work today!" Now, my first reaction is not something printable. I wanted to grab my chest and stumble around and say, "Lizbeth, this is the big one, I'm coming to see you honey" and then ask her, didn't Redd Foxx die a long time ago? (har har). Either that or ask her, "What in the hell did you SMOKE TODAY?" But no, I just smiled and said, "Wow, that's unbelievable!" and she exclaimed, "Yeah right? Isn't it great? I'm so happy for him!" I wanted to ask her, does this mean the Weed God isn't his spirit guide any more. After having to give her back a bunch of her DVD's (the same ones that I always give back to her, because we don't take them, but she insists on bringing them back IN CASE someone is stupid enough to take them) we finished her loan and she left, waving and giddily saying, "Goodbye!"
Another gal came in today. Let's call her Nelly. She's a real winner. She used to come in and cash her many Social Security and Babydaddy checks, and she would spend an UNGODLY amount of time telling me all her business. I never did act interested, I only smiled and nodded politely while desperately trying to find other customers to wait on. But she's one of those people who just can't take a hint, as long as you are standing within a few feet of her you are a captive audience. Let's see, her man at the time was in jail, he'd hit her over the years but he was her soul mate, she had just had his name tattooed all over herself, SRS had gotten involved and taken one of her kids because he was a little rough with one of them (though she was sure that the kid was just making it up, her man couldn't possibly be guilty), he was writing her from jail that he was wanting to start all over and how he LOVED HER and she just could not wait for him to get out, etc. How they were going to work on his cheating problem, how he had changed, etc. Yes, you know all that usual story! I had not seen her in about two years, and today she walked in with one of our regulars (whom I like) and her man, who was toting a toddler. This woman is about 6 feet tall and hairy, she looks like a hairy feminine man. Her husband looks like a hairy caveman. Both of them are tattooed to the gills, they both have unibrows, they both smell from lack of regular bathing. She has in the past complained how she doesn't have enough money to live on, all the while buying copious amounts of DVD's and knives; the typical handout queen. She would bring in all kinds of junk and want loans on it, and be very rude if we turned it down. She would push and push to the point that you'd just want to smack her.
She dragged her man and her mini-man toddler (smaller version of the parents, obviously inheriting the worst of all their genetics, underbite included) up to the counter while my brother and I were standing there and said, "See our little miracle!" The first thing that went through my mind was, "It's a miracle you got laid!" I just smiled and nodded and murmured how cute...(is it a boy or girl!?!?!?! CRAP!!)..their baby was. As they were walking to the door my brother leaned over and whispered, "It's a miracle you got a dick in you!" I all but peed my pants laughing right then and there!
Today Crazy Biatch came in. That's the nice version of what we all call her. She is just about this side of crazy. This woman has been a pain in the ass every minute since I first had to deal with her. First of all, she does not deal well with women. The other gals who have worked at the shop ALL had issues with her of one kind or another. Get her a male employee however and she is a different person altogether! She's bold and she tries to flirt and gets this high, giddy inflection in her voice. It's a creepy kind of fascinating. She used to call years ago from her job at Wal-mart and say she could not come get her loan that day, because she was out of town. (Isn't that nice Wal-Mart here in town could give you a phone to use all the way in wherever you say you are?) This happened a lot. Not only would she say she was out of town but she'd go on and on with some story du jour; it was really a waste of time. You could sit on the phone listening to her story about why she could not come out, watching time fly by on the wall clock. I finally got to the point where I'd just cut her off and say, "And what day will you be here?" She did NOT like this at all and started to get very rude, huffy, and short with me any time she dealt with me after that. ("OH no she knows I"m full of shit!") I know it's rude to interrupt a customer but come on, how many times are you going to call and spin a tale, why can't you just SAY you aren't coming in and leave it at that? NO ONE CARES about your made-up stories that just get more whacked out by the month! She's also one of these Gladys Kravitz type women; she would listen in on employees talking to each other behind the counter (relaying needed info back and forth about this customer or that loan or whatever the question was) and she'd ask, "What? What about ___?" "They did what/they brought what in?" things like that. An employee could walk by and say to me in a low voice, "I put that last loan on shelf so and so if you need to write it down" and she'd lean in and demand, "WHAT did he say?" I told her oh, nothing! And she would insist on knowing what was said, as if her very life depended on it. (Is she a touch paranoid maybe?) If I told her some version of a nice 'it has nothing to do with you' she acted like I had just insulted her to the highest. She has even listened in to conversations of customers in front of her in line, and then asked myself or other employees what we were talking about. Maybe her mother never taught her any better? If you won't tell her, she just gets frigidly hostile. (So now I pretend I don't hear her, or misunderstand her and just smile sweetly at her, which makes her even nuttier! HA!) The very last straw for me was two years ago; she had called in repeatedly to delay a loan that was due, to the point it was three weeks past its due date. This being late stuff was getting to be a routine for her by then. Finally after it was three weeks past due (any other company would have just deposited the check the day it was due!) she calls again and needs another week extension, because her car 'was still in the shop'. She had been talking to other people when she'd called in before, so I had no idea what her excuse had been (nor did I care!). She started in with her sad tale of woe, how her car was still in the shop, she couldn't possibly come in anytime soon to pick up the check; she then went on and on and on into this elaborate tale about mechanics and cars until I just said, "Well, let's not worry about you having to find a way over here, I can just deposit this check and that will save you a trip!" She sat there in silence for a minute, like she could not believe what was being said (because that is not what she expected to hear.) What better solution to someone who has been having transportation troubles for three weeks, than to deposit the check and save her a trip? Apparently she took this as me being hateful to her, and so re-launched her long story about the car. I finally interrupted her and asked, "What date will you be in, please? We've already held it three weeks so we need to get this closed very soon. I would be happy to deposit this so you don't have to worry about getting down here, i'd be glad to do that for you." NO! SHE DID NOT WANT IT DEPOSITED! She would be in within a few days! Ok, fine, I made a note (under all the other notes from all the other times she'd called and told her story and said she'd be in!) and then forgot all about Crazy Biatch. She did call back and ask 'for the owner' but hung up before I could put him on the phone. I guess she does not know we are all related and it doesn't matter.
But Crazy Biatch didn't forget about ME! She came in a week later and I had to help her since no one else was available. I smiled at her and greeted her and she just stood there with her mouth in a tight line and frowning. I asked her, what day do you want this on, we need to get this back on your payday so what day works for you?" Apropo of NOTHING she says, "My car REALLY DID BREAK DOWN!" She said it in such a pissed off, fuming, I've-been-sitting-on-this-for-years way that it almost made me take a step back. I told her, that's ok, I'm just concerned about getting your loan back on your payday so it's convenient for you again. She leaned forward, mouth tight, face red, and insisted, "NO REALLY. My car really did break down. I can bring the receipt if you don't believe me!" (WHAT THE HELL is your problem lady?) I told her, no that's ok, let's deal with the loan we have right now, what day is good for you?" Again, she insisted, "I have the receipt, I'll bring it, my car DID break down, I can prove it! I know you don't believe me" I finally lost it, and said, "I don't care about the car, we are past the car, we are in the here and now so let's get this one set up for you, ok?" She didn't speak to me the rest of the time she was there. If only it could always be so.
Last year she came in, and my brother waited on her. She leaned forward and said something to him, that he could not understand. He leaned forward and asked, her, "What?" She shook her head back and forth and said, "Nevermind!" So he didn't mind. He processed her loan, sent her on her way. About an hour later she called the shop and spoke to my dad, and said that she had told 'that young man' to turn her check over and he had ignored her! Luckily she was told it just had to be a misunderstanding because none of our employees would treat you that way on purpose, etc. When my dad mentioned this to my brother, we were both astounded that she had dared act like this. I was standing nearby and I had witnessed the whole thing and he had indeed leaned forward to ask her what she had said. She is really a nutball. After that day she became my dad's customer!
Two weeks after this phone call she comes in again, and I notice that she won't approach the counter anytime someone who is un-white is nearby. She would get close, and up would walk someone who was black or Hispanic, and bam she'd walk away and circle like a plane waiting for the runway to clear so she could land. Finally she got to the counter; I saw her there yet walked past her and waited on a young Asian girl who had just walked up to pay her bill! (I know, that's so petty, but give me a break, this lady is a conductor on the Crazy Train!) Luckily, my dad was available to help her after that (or.... not so lucky) He took her loan paperwork out of the folder and started to work on it; she reached over and turned the check upside down while he was reading it. He flipped it back over so he could continue working; she reached over and flipped it right back over. Now his first mistake was putting the stuff where she could reach it; I never put the loan paperwork where someone could just reach over and grab the check (what if they didn't pay for it first? Then we'd have nothing to deposit!). My brother and I both saw the Crazy Biatch do this and neither one of us could BELIEVE what we were seeing. She leaned in and started talking to my dad and I could hear bits and pieces; she claimed that 'some black guy stole my checking account information by looking over my shoulder!" I'm not even going to go into how ridiculous she is. How would you know who and when it happened, when you write loans ALL OVER TOWN you imbecile? So after she left, my dad shook his head and we commiserated with him.
When she came in two weeks later, I had to help her this time. I tried to avoid her; by this point every time she walked in the door my brother would yell, "Your customer" and run into the back, or he'd suddenly say, "OH I have to go to the bathroom!" and disappear. This time, I was stuck with her. I took her loan papers and put them behind the monitor so she could not reach them; it was like a tribe of ants were marching in her pants watching her squirm this way and twist that way trying to see how she could grab that check. I swear to you, if she had reached a hand over into my space to grab that check I would have smacked it for her! But we processed her loan and she did a lot of mumbling at me, but she never said anything I could hear or understand. I smiled at her the whole time, made small talk chit chatting about the weather but she never would address what was really bothering her; maybe she's just passive-aggressive. She didn't call and tattle on me!
Two weeks later, my dad has to help her again. This time I saw her get out of her car and all but grabbed the next two customers so I would not have to put up with her. FIrst she reached over and grabbed all the loan papers (including check) and scooted them far away from dad, turning the check over while she did so. He reached over and took them back, again she reached over and turned the check upside down while dad was trying to type from it; this is after she spent ten minutes circling the store waiting for all the NON WHITE PEOPLE to leave the counter. She would just crap if we had any minorities working for us; I'm sure she'd claim they stole her identity too. (WHO would want to BE HER? SHE can't even stand to be her!) Dad put up with her crap again, and she left. She made some jokes and comments to him before she left, that she thought were funny. I stood there with a fake smile pasted all over my face and trying to pretend to laugh like I thought what she was saying was funny (because that's about the only way to really get any kind of positive reaction from her). But inside my mouth was hanging open that someone could be that goofy and still function in society somehow.
She came in again a few more times and I had to wait on her, and she keeps making flipping motions like she wants me to flip the check over (since I don't let her touch it). The more you don't do it, the madder she gets and the more she makes the flipping motion until it looks like she's damned near having a seizure at the counter. All the while she mouths "TURN IT TURN IT". Finally I said, it's covered, don't worry about it, I have it taken care of. But that's not good enough for her, she can't stand not being able to touch it and flip it over. If a non-white person walks up while we are doing her loan, she all but jumps over the counter to turn that check over. I just want to tell her to grow up, that white people steal information too so deal with it. At any rate the last few times she's been in she's been going off about her life and she's so mental, it's hard to say anything back to her and not have it sound as annoyed as I feel. Supposedly she's been a nurse (oh my GOD!) and she was running off about how some patient's doctor told her to do this and this but she knew better so she didn't. How predatory all these payday loan places are (yet when I mention how no one holds guns to people's heads and makes them write the checks, she gets very angry and her face turns red!) How she has this friend or that friend who doesn't have a car so she's calling the television stations trying to drum up sympathy to get them cars (I almost asked her why she didn't recommend her mechanic. HA HA.) Then she mentioned how some very annoying publicity-hound car dealership manager would probably donate a car if she called enough TV stations; this guy is a notorious P.R. hound and he only does 'charity' when it will get him good P.R., everyone in town knows it and I especially find him fake since I met him a few times while at his dealership getting my car serviced. He is as smarmy and fake as any politician. (You watch, someday you'll see a notice in my blog that he's running for office!) Anyway I just HAD to make a comment like, "____ will do anything for publicity!" And that set Crazy Biatch OFF like I'd just insulted her daddy! I just smiled at her after she made a bunch of self-defensive comments and changed the subject; she apparently has a hard time letting go of the last time in the conversation you pissed her off because she brought up the smarmy car dealer several more times (probably hoping to get a rise going?). Every time she brought his name up, I sighed sweetly, looked heavenward, made prayer-hands and said dreamily, "He's such a good man. He's a saint!" She eventually gave up. Then she started in with how she and a friend were going to get churches to give them money to get them out of their payday loans. It took nothing short of an iron fist to the lips to keep my mouth shut. One of my biggest peeves is people who go around getting money from churches that they do not deserve! You don't need money from the church to pay off your payday loan because you are poor; there are infinitely more people in more need for church money and here this psychotic twat is scamming to get a church to pay off her payday loan. (She'll just be back two months later to write another!) Finally, Crazy Biatch hit my limit of fake nice. She is anyone's customer but mine from now on. Just....can't....fake....it....any....more!
The drunk guy who always has a story about why he needs a loan came in; about 75% of the time he will make a comment like, "I wish you weren't married" or some such catchy line. Every time he hits on me I tell myself that someday I'll tell him, "I'm allergic to the stench of old beer" but never do. At any rate he tried, again, to convince me that we had loaned a huge amount on his crappy old tools in the past, yet I found an amount about half of what he claimed. Then he said, "These are great tools, you SHOULD lend me $50!" I asked him why would I lend you $50 today on tools we lent you $20 on six years ago, they don't appreciate in value. He did accept his usual amount. He needed to go get beer, after all. We wouldn't want to sober up so we could get a job! What is so sad is that he has the skills to make a lot of money, but whenever he gets a job (about every two years) he gets fired within a few months because he can't stop having accidents at work due to his alcoholism. It's sad to think that he works in manufacturing plants with machinery that could harm OTHERS due to his negligence, but he could care less about anything besides the booze. What a waste.
And finally we have a bonafide paranoid schizo coming in, who is NOT regular with his medications. At first I just thought he was rude; he has yelled at other employees and he yelled at me once (I just kept on walking like I didn't hear him screaming in anger). Then he started going off at one of our employees about soldiers and wars and Jesus and...my GOD...too many things to even remember. It was all violent and scary and totally crazy. His daughter came in that day and led him away. What is so scary, is that he buys knives. Before I knew he was schizo, I always had this weird feeling from him that always made me step away out of reach after I'd handed him a knife; now I sound paranoid huh! But he just gives off this vibe, and he LOOKS like he is just >thisclose< to killing you with his bare hands every time he looks at you or talks to you. The more you talk to him, it's like he gets crazier by the word. Some days are much better than others; in fact the other day he came in and was so civil and polite and 'normal' you'd never know anything was wrong with him. I personally don't feel comfortable selling him weapons considering how unsafe I feel in his presence but there is nothing that says he CAN'T have weaponry. A gun, I could refuse to sell him (and we all would!). UPDATE: He's been getting his meds regularly and has come to trust us, so he's not bad any more. Thank goodness!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Idiot Retail Day
We shopped for groceries yesterday at a store located in the very UPPY side of town. Even a lot of the employee parking lot is loaded with Lexus, BMW, etc. As we were checking out, I'd put a divider behind my items so that the person behind me could put his things on the belt after mine moved up. (Notice I say AFTER mine moved up....they hadn't yet.) I guess the old guy behind me was too important to wait until the cashier could make some headway into my considerable order; he used the bar and started pushing my items forward, smashing bread and other items together. I know from experience that saying anything to crotchety jerkwads of this vintage doesn't do any good, so I placed my hand just in front of the bar so he couldn't push it any more; I leaned over like I was just resting my weight over on my hand and waiting for the cashier. They usually don't know what to do if you pretend like you have no idea they are being annoying. In this case it was also true! I had a couple of bags of cat food on the belt, that had become bread-smashing devices thanks to this jerk. He asked me in a very grouchy and pissed off voice, "Treats for the cats?!?" I pretended that I hadn't even noticed he was back there and asked, 'I'm sorry, what?" He repeated his question in the same drippingly annoyed voice; I cheerfully said, "Oh no, we top our salads with that. We love the crunch." He stood there staring at me with a look on his face that indicated maybe he had soiled pants. It was priceless! He didn't get any happier when I whipped out vast stashes of coupons and paid with one-dollar bills, but at least he stopped trying to make pancakes out of our bread.
Later we stopped by PetCo. As we approached the checkout, the girl at the counter decided she had to do something else and told a kid to check us out. He looked like a 6 ft. tall ten year old! And didn't act much better. He was clearly annoyed that he had to work; and let us know it in the way he slammed our items about and punched the keys to log into the register. Then he said to us, "HOLA!" I peeked over at hubby, who was similarly irritated at this kid's lack of professional conduct. Apparently Kid Boy expected an answer to his 'greeting', as he stopped what he was doing and leaned forward a bit and said more slowly, and loudly, "HO-LA!" What, do you think we are hard of hearing?! I said, "What?" just because I couldn't believe he was so simpleminded. He said, "I said HOLA!" I asked him, "Do I look Mexican to you?" Really, what else can you say, when you WANT to tell him what an idiot he is?!?! He jerked his head back like he'd been slapped! (Oh to dream!) I told hubby, "You know, I'm so white that no one has ever mistaken me for any other nationality, but I guess it can happen." KidBoy shoved our sack across the counter, stuffed the receipt in the bag, and didn't even say THANK YOU (or is that gracias??) for our business. Unfortunately we did not get a survey on our receipt, that would have been one INTERESTING survey for the honchos at PetCo to get.
Later we stopped by PetCo. As we approached the checkout, the girl at the counter decided she had to do something else and told a kid to check us out. He looked like a 6 ft. tall ten year old! And didn't act much better. He was clearly annoyed that he had to work; and let us know it in the way he slammed our items about and punched the keys to log into the register. Then he said to us, "HOLA!" I peeked over at hubby, who was similarly irritated at this kid's lack of professional conduct. Apparently Kid Boy expected an answer to his 'greeting', as he stopped what he was doing and leaned forward a bit and said more slowly, and loudly, "HO-LA!" What, do you think we are hard of hearing?! I said, "What?" just because I couldn't believe he was so simpleminded. He said, "I said HOLA!" I asked him, "Do I look Mexican to you?" Really, what else can you say, when you WANT to tell him what an idiot he is?!?! He jerked his head back like he'd been slapped! (Oh to dream!) I told hubby, "You know, I'm so white that no one has ever mistaken me for any other nationality, but I guess it can happen." KidBoy shoved our sack across the counter, stuffed the receipt in the bag, and didn't even say THANK YOU (or is that gracias??) for our business. Unfortunately we did not get a survey on our receipt, that would have been one INTERESTING survey for the honchos at PetCo to get.
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