"But I Only Opened My Phone!"

We have a theater chain here that has instituted a severe "NO CELL PHONE" policy during a movie. No games, no texting, do NOT turn on your phone during the movie, period. If they catch you, you are removed from the movie, no exceptions, no refunds, no kidding. We were so glad when they first announced this policy, because really, seeing all the phones on during a movie is very distracting and annoying. We always sit in the back row, so allllll those phones in front of us add up.

Tonight we had an opportunity to test the new policy! We were watching "Lakeview Terrace" and two rows in front of us, some dumb twaddle opens up her phone and it looks like she is playing games on it; all the different flashing screens were hard for me to ignore. After a few minutes it was clears he was not going to stop, so I snapped my fingers at her (like the dog she is) and said loudly, "Please turn that off, THANK YOU!" But she ignored me. That's ok, I got up and went to get an usher, who brought another one with her. They camped out at both doors and waited to catch her. When she saw them she turned it off, but they waited for ten minutes. Eventually she had to get her cell phone fix and she tried to hide it in her ample lap as she opened it up...and busted she was! The two ushers had to argue with her to get her to get up and leave, and she kept trying to sneak back in, but they did finally manage to impress upon her the fact that she was banned from the movie, so she stayed out in the hallway.

I had to get up and go to the ladies' room, and passed her in the hallway. She GLARED at me hatefully when I came out of the theater, so I was sure she knew I was the one who 'tattled'. I just smiled sweetly at her. I was kind of taken aback, in the darkness she just looked like an elderly blob, but in the light of harsh flourescents she was a sight. She was about five foot tall and five foot wide; probably in her 50's but looking older; she had on so much black eye makeup that it looked like someone had punched her in the eyes. She had short teased bleached blonde hair (obviously done at home and overprocessed) and the gaudiest Pepto Bismol Pink sweater I've ever seen. She had about four feet of bosoms stretching that sweater to it's limit. She was SO angry that her mouth was all pinched up, and it looked like her mouth was trying to eat her face. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that she probably uses that look a LOT in her life. Apparently she was really mad that her boyfriend got to stay inside the movie. (Why wasn't he a gentleman and come join her in the hallway? The movie was ONLY half over! har har!)

When I came back, she glared at me some more, so I smiled at her some more. When when the movie was over, we were among the first out since we always sit in the back; as we exited the theater she was there glaring at me some more, so I smiled sweetly at her yet again. I was certain she knew who I was, and thought she was just trying to make herself feel better so I just smiled at her. She was positively FUMING.

Hubby and the kid had to do some boy business, so I took the car keys and went out to get the car. A few minutes later my son opened the car door and said breathlessly, "MOM! MOM! That lady is looking for you and she's so mad! She's stomping back and forth by the ticket taker and she's cussing and asking,'where is she? Where is she? Is she gone? I only opened my phone, that was uncalled for!'" He said she had a big boyfriend who was pissed right along with her and they looked like they were wanting to go after whoever tattled on them. I could SWEAR I've seen her on an episode of "Jerry Springer"! She's so obviously accustomed to acting like a White Trash Moron.

Skinheads...at least they are *WHITE* Trash!

Skinheads. Neo-Nazis. White Supremists. Whatever term is popular at the moment, they are some of the most repugnant of the White Trash Morons. (But hey at least they are white, and 'white is right' ya know!) Yes, I had to swallow some vomit to type that.

We have some World War II flags (along with other wars and other countries) and some knives from that era. Some are replica SS knives and the like; let us not forget that no matter how one might feel about the Nazis, Hitler, Germany, it is a part of our history. I get very annoyed when dumbass customers come in and say, "OH that stuff is racist! That's Nazi stuff, you shoudn't sell it!" These same people see the Confederate flag and the Mexican flag and do the same, "That's racist!" routine. Do they NOT know history? No of course not. If someone can really see a Confederate flag and say, "That means slavery!", they are missing the entire history boat and they can just simmer in their ignorance. I got so tired of rednecks making disparaging comments about the Mexican flag (including my uncle's dumb cunny former-stripper ex-wife!) that I started saying, "What, you don't recognize the first Texas flag?" The comment goes totally over their heads, but what do you expect from white trash morons?

Anyway, apparently the WWII memorabilia (as it pertains to Germany) apparently DOES attract some die hard skinheads. I don't care what race you are; to embrace total hate against someone else STRICTLY because of their race makes you the ultimate WHITE TRASH MORON. The same goes for the Black Panthers and La Rasa. But skinheads really chap my ass, because they are always among the poorest representations of what white folks are. I mean really, do you think that botched shave job and all those tattoos make you look smart? Do you think dropping the 'n' word makes you look brilliant? Do you really think that claiming the police arrested you only because of your tattoos makes you SO DIFFERENT from the people who say they were arrested only because they were non-white? Do you not see how repulsive and idiotic you are?

The guy who orders all our items for 'that side' of the store only seems to see the money angle in whatever he orders. He orders marijuana leaf ashtrays and then bitches because they all walk out. Hello! People who SMOKE pot aren't going to BUY them, they are going to STEAL them, are you surprised? He was taking special orders for these moron skinheads, and the rest of us were having to deal with them when they came in to buy the stuff. I'm sorry but I can do totally without skin heads and gangbangers in our store! The employee was told NOT to order any more items that would attract skinheads; but he refused to listen. The last batch that arrived, were tossed directly into the trash. (Hoping he got the hint as it came out of his share.) Still, we have this one particularly dumb and irritating skinhead named Brandon. Yes that's his name; I figure if he doesn't mind having swastikas plastered all over his neck and arms for everyone to see, he can't possibly care that people know his name. "Brandon" bought a brass knuckle handled knife from us (decorative, not legal to carry!) and was stupid enough to keep it in his car. (No one has ever accused white supremists of being SMART!) Apparently he was innocently driving along DOING NOTHING, and he was stopped by police. He just innocently PICKED UP THE KNIFE TO SHOW THEM and he was arrested for threatening an officer. They ONLY arrested him because of his tattoos. (Can you feel the sarcasm dripping here?) He's a real tool, just being in his presence makes my lip curl and I can barely be civil to him. He repeats his story every time he comes in, as if us selling him the knife somehow makes it our fault that he can't obey the law. I would like to think his bad karma is finally at work.

Every time Brandon comes into the store he wants to order more Nazi items. I always tell him we are not carrying any more since they don't sell; but he insists, "The knife guy always orders it for me." This time I finally told him, "Yeah we threw it in the trash, the owner does not want that stuff being ordered any more. We have to all but give it away on clearance to get rid of it and I don't like the attention it brings." (Hint hint!) He glared and said, "I'll just talk to the knife guy when I'm in next." Yeah I'll bet you will. I almost told him our knife guy is Jewish just to see if he'd still want to talk to him. Nah, he'd probably just set fire to our place or burn a cross in the courtyard. Bed Bath and Beyond had a nice display of white sheets last week, I ALMOST told Brandon he could get a really good deal on some, just to be a snarky bitch.

I sure hope that when Brandon is in an accident, the first responder at the scene isn't someone of another race. I'd sure hate to be rescued by someone who WASN'T WHITE! GASP! Whatta moron.

The Audacity of...White Trash Morons!

I wake up this morning to find out that I'm going to have a *really fun day* with all the white trash morons who have been coming into the shop the last few weeks and waxing poetic about their choice of candidate. (I'll let you read between the lines and decide which candidate will most favor giving hard-working-taxpayers' money to people who are not hard working.)

My husband works for a certain government institution. One of his co-workers, who also happens to be interested in getting into management, was convicted of a felony involving great bodily harm upon a guy of a different (non minority) race; but of course that's not a race hate crime. He put the guy into the hospital. He has made threatening comments to my husband, including, "Keep my name out'cho' mouf!"...but that's ok because at this government installation, you just call the union to save your bacon if anyone tries to discipline you. It is, after all, 'disparate treatment', because of course it's not your actions that caused the problem, it's because everyone is racist. (Got it?) This morning husband reported to me that after the announcement of the election results, one of these esteemed co-workers approached his (white) supervisor and said, "Now that we got one'a our own in there, you gonna have to treat us different!" The supervisor was puzzled and said, "Why would I do that? I'm going to treat you like I've always treated you. I'm not a racist." Yeah, Obama does NOT identify with you, dumbass! He wouldn't give you the time of day, you are too ghet-to for his schmoozy self.

And today, the morons flowed into work. We had a police officer in visiting, and one very low-IQ white trash moron came in to talk about his loans. He can't hold a job to save his life, and he's a real idiot. He's fertile though; he has the energy to keep fathering children he can't afford, with his VERY NICE but equally slow wife. He was at the counter and said, "What you think about Bama winning?" (Can't even get his name right?) The officer said, "He's going to give you a job!" One of our employees said, sarcastically, "No, he's going to give you a CHECK!" You should have seen this moron light up like the Christmas Tree in Times Square! "Oh man that's great, I need me a check, that would come in handy for Christmas! They gonna give us another check like this year?" We were KIDDING but he believed wholeheartedly that Saint Obama was gonna give him a check. I told him, "Sorry that was courtesy of the Republicans, you aren't going to get another stimulus check anytime in the next four years." Then the employee told him, "Why don't you go get a job? It works for me!" That was rather rude, yes, but this guy thinks money should just come to him as he sits on his ass. He's also impossible to offend, he's that dense. He went on about how he 'can't' find a job. There are thousands of jobs unfilled here, go apply for one, that's how you get one! Oh yeah and show up, and bathe, and do your work!

The cherry on the cake of the day: Sloth and his monkey children came into the store. I detest even having to see them, they are so annoying, their voices are like nails on a chalkboard, I can see DEVOLUTION happening before my eyes! They came in waving little flags they got at school today (the SCHOOL was celebrating the appointment of a candidate who would support their teacher's union demands, big surprise!). They came up to the counter and asked the employee, "Aren't you glad Obama won?" He looked at them like they were eating their own boogers and said flatly, "No." They were chattering on and on saying how he's going to do this and do that (all the stuff the school tells them), and he just told them they didn't know what they were talking about and walked away! I had to laugh. They looked like he just told them to go die somewhere.

We have another white trash moron family; the mom was a stripper until she doubled her body mass to impossible proportions; the dad is just an idiot for continuing to have babies with her. (Her sister is the one who claims she only gets into fights at school because she's half Asian.) They kept having babies, they are on welfare and proud of it. The mom got fired from a nursing home for hitting a resident; her hand was even in a cast but of course, they were just 'making sh_t up" about her. Now she's trying to sue the place and get money for her hand. She has one little darling who does not listen and willfully ignores anyone who tells her not to touch stuff, or to get off the ladder, etc. Every time she comes in she opens her mouth and licks/slobbers all over the glass display cases, and I have to clean this up! I've squirt her with a water sprayer before, but that only lasted a visit or two. (Does it not disturb her mom that even DOGS and CATS would remember that sprayer and not do it again?) Today, she did it again and I told her she could not come in any more if she did that again. They paid another visit in the afternoon, and sure enough the little monkey started slobbering long streams all over my glass display case. I'm sure that by putting my hand on the front of her grimy little face and pushing her head OFF my glass, that is considered battery in some states; so be it. Her little fanny needs some blisters and maybe that would get through to her! But the little brat went back for another round of slobbers, after glaring at me. So I handed her mom the glass cleaner and a rag and told her, "It's your turn to clean it up, I cleaned up after her this morning and I'm done." It worked! She sprayed the cleaner on the glass and the monkey-child actually WIPED IT OFF. I almost fell over! I told her, "Thanks (brat's name). You can come back and visit me again, your mom won't have to leave you outside." (ha, ha.)

Man, where's my check? I need battle pay for putting up with these dummies. I need to quit working, stop paying my mortgage and car payments, and get my damned check!