This ad came through Freecycle recently:
"I now have one gray kitten and one black one, left to go to GOOD HOMES! I have also decided to give the mama away because I will be moving and can only have one dog and one cat at the new place! I am keeping the Blue Seal I have, which is the mama to the mama of these kittens! I JUST CAN'T AFFORD ANYMORE ANIMALS! THE MAMA WAS BORN MARCH 17, 2009.. so still young! I also can't afford to have both cats fixed
or to have anymore kittens!"
Wouldn't it have just been cheaper to spay the MAMA cat when she got her a year ago?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Nurse Nasty
Today Nurse Nasty returned! Two years after declaring she'd never be back, she came in today to get a permission slip for her underage children to deface their bodies with permanent ink. (I don't get that, why not make them wait until they are old enough to be sorry about this on their own?)
I didn't even recognize her, to say that she's packed on some padding is an understatement. She looked about 45 months pregnant....I only recognized her from her I.D. I commented to her that it had been a long time since I'd seen her and she acted all nicey-nice; must have had her Twinkie today. Her white trash children were getting inked all nice and big, so they have lots to regret in their later years. What a loving mom!
I didn't even recognize her, to say that she's packed on some padding is an understatement. She looked about 45 months pregnant....I only recognized her from her I.D. I commented to her that it had been a long time since I'd seen her and she acted all nicey-nice; must have had her Twinkie today. Her white trash children were getting inked all nice and big, so they have lots to regret in their later years. What a loving mom!
"My husband is a MEXICAN!"
A few years ago, a woman came into our store to demand a refund on a bill that her husband had just paid. I had waited on him, and she insisted that I give her a refund. It seems that her bill HAD to be paid that day and since she had paid it with us, the electric company had told her that we were not an approved payment contractor and they could not verify her payment. This, despite my having given her husband his receipt and told him he could not verify his payment with the company as we were not directly connected to them, but that it would take a few days to get there.
When I explained to this woman that I could not refund her money once I submitted the payment, she ratcheted up her voice and insisted that I had to give her a refund because her husband paid the bill and he didn't speak English! "HE'S MEXICAN! He can't speak ENGLISH!" I pointed to the sign we had in Spanish just for that purpose but I guess he didn't read, either. She insisted that we were obligated to refund the money because he didn't speak English. I didn't ask her, why doesn't he learn English so your power doesn't get shut off? If he can't understand English, why is she sending him places in AMERICA to pay his bills? Why not call it in to the electric company and get a Spanish-speaking representative?
Just the other day, I heard that another woman had come in and used the "HE'S MEXICAN!" excuse to try to get us to refund a payment. And, when that didn't get her money back, she exploded and said, "I'll never come back here!" Oh, sniff sniff...! Just find it hard to feel sorry for someone who uses that as an excuse; it's a fair bet he's not here legally if he's so hindered by non-English speaking skills.
When I explained to this woman that I could not refund her money once I submitted the payment, she ratcheted up her voice and insisted that I had to give her a refund because her husband paid the bill and he didn't speak English! "HE'S MEXICAN! He can't speak ENGLISH!" I pointed to the sign we had in Spanish just for that purpose but I guess he didn't read, either. She insisted that we were obligated to refund the money because he didn't speak English. I didn't ask her, why doesn't he learn English so your power doesn't get shut off? If he can't understand English, why is she sending him places in AMERICA to pay his bills? Why not call it in to the electric company and get a Spanish-speaking representative?
Just the other day, I heard that another woman had come in and used the "HE'S MEXICAN!" excuse to try to get us to refund a payment. And, when that didn't get her money back, she exploded and said, "I'll never come back here!" Oh, sniff sniff...! Just find it hard to feel sorry for someone who uses that as an excuse; it's a fair bet he's not here legally if he's so hindered by non-English speaking skills.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Cat Pee Lady
We have a customer who comes in every month to pay a pile of bills. She is a really NICE lady, but my gawd, does she smell! She smells like cat pee, and her breath smells like she's eating out of the litter box. So, when she stands there chatting and laughing, you get a nice whiff! She also has some quirks about her money; she alternates between not wanting to let you have any of her pennies/quarters, to digging out ONLY pennies or ONLY quarters. You never know what the deal is until you have to collect change, and then it just gets annoying.
She came in awhile back and was very upset; insisting, "I have a BONE to pick with you!" She handed me a stack of unruly receipts, and said angrily, "You have been giving me receipts in SPANISH! I want ENGLISH! I don't SPEAK SPANISH!" Puzzled, I was alarmed that maybe somehow our program was messed up, and secretly wondering how NONE of us had caught the fact that our receipts were printing in Spanish. Then I looked at them and saw that every iine of the receipt was printed twice: once in English (ON TOP!) and once in Spanish. I pointed out to her where there was indeed English on the receipts. She looked only mildly embarrassed. Then she complained that we had not been putting the right account number on there, 'LOOK! they are little stars, not my account!" I had to explain to her that the receipts truncate the numbers so that someone can't get her entire account number.
I assured her that everything was fine. She still seemed a little dubious so I asked her if at any time had she had her service turned off for non-payment? She said no, and I told her that meant everything was fine.
She also today explained the origin of her stench: she rescued some stray cats and they live in her house, and they sleep on her. I'm not sure if that's *ALL* they are doing on her, but at least I'm not imagining the cat pee smell!
She came in awhile back and was very upset; insisting, "I have a BONE to pick with you!" She handed me a stack of unruly receipts, and said angrily, "You have been giving me receipts in SPANISH! I want ENGLISH! I don't SPEAK SPANISH!" Puzzled, I was alarmed that maybe somehow our program was messed up, and secretly wondering how NONE of us had caught the fact that our receipts were printing in Spanish. Then I looked at them and saw that every iine of the receipt was printed twice: once in English (ON TOP!) and once in Spanish. I pointed out to her where there was indeed English on the receipts. She looked only mildly embarrassed. Then she complained that we had not been putting the right account number on there, 'LOOK! they are little stars, not my account!" I had to explain to her that the receipts truncate the numbers so that someone can't get her entire account number.
I assured her that everything was fine. She still seemed a little dubious so I asked her if at any time had she had her service turned off for non-payment? She said no, and I told her that meant everything was fine.
She also today explained the origin of her stench: she rescued some stray cats and they live in her house, and they sleep on her. I'm not sure if that's *ALL* they are doing on her, but at least I'm not imagining the cat pee smell!
More New Dumb Customer Tricks
*A longtime disability check cashing customer, with a perpetually pissed-off demeanor, we'll call her "Buehla". She has not cracked a smile or said anything nice in the years I've had to deal with her, ever! I learned a long time ago to not ask her anything other than questions related to our transaction, otherwise she uses it as an opportunity to be nasty. She also gets a check for her adult son, and she insists that each check be cashed separately. (Even though when she is done, she puts all the money into one envelope) She insists that we photocopy the checks for her also, and 'COUNT IT BACK TO ME SLOWLY SO I KNOW IT'S THERE!" (Yes, she really does sound like she's talking in all caps!) In the past she has claimed that we shorted her, even though the money was counted out to her, so we have to watch her carefully. She tried to claim recently that I shorted her money to her and I wouldn't have any of it, so she shut up. She pinched her mouth into a tight little pout and crossed her arms and was breathing heavily through her nose as she stood there glaring at me. (Have you ever seen a 5'5" 300 lb. toddler pout?)
She loves to stand there and comment on the jewelry cases; we have several of them and she must have tried on everything at least twice. She isn't going to buy anything mind you, she just wants you to take it out, let her try it on, bitch about it (wrong size/color/style/price/it's fake even though it's not/etc.). What's this, why is it that color, is this real, how much did you pay for it, who did you buy it from, how do you know it's real or not, why should she believe what you are saying, etc. She really doesn't want to know these things, she just can't keep the negative stream from flowing out of her mouth. Mind you, she has no qualms about telling you to take out jewelry for her, when you are in the middle of helping someone else; she's really something! She bought a dvd player from us awhile back and bitched about it for a couple of months; she bitched about a CD she bought and didn't like, ditto with a movie, etc. It's like once you sell her something, you have this physical relationship with her and she feels that she needs to tell you how much you suck in bed. She won't stop beating the dead horse until you ignore her, and then she'll move on to something else.
*Kobie couple came in; Mr. Kobie has just been diagnosed with cancer apparently. Now he and the missus used to be meth heads, and the way he was going off about how his doctors 'treat him like he's drug seeking' makes me wonder just what else they did. He used to be a patient of a local doctor who is so notorious for his prescribing habits that other doctors will not see you if you have been a patient of this doctor. But Mr. Kobie is on Medicaid (he and the missus have been cashing social security checks for years, and get one for the kid too) and the doctors who take the Medicaid must treat him. The doctor with the bad prescribing habits lost his ability to take Medicaid payments after some fraud allegations, so those people had to go somewhere else. Apparently though the new doctors are not responsive to his requests for pain medication, which translates into them 'treating him like a drug addict'. Well, you are...were...whatever, how are they SUPPOSED to treat you? He also won't stop smoking despite a nasty cough secondary to his cancer, but he insists that the smoking is not making him cough. (Can meth cause cancer, I wonder?? Surely it can, as nasty as it is to smoke LYE for gawdssakes). Mr. Kobie said, "I can't wait until Obama's health care kicks in and then they have to give me meds!" Um, you are ON government health care and you hate how you are treated, do you think honestly, that it's going to get better? Yes, you sure are a druggie! I might add that while they were there they paid a $150 cable bill. Yes, you are welcome, Kobie Couple!
*The woman with the 'miracle baby' came in today. Miracle Troll is about two years old I think, and he has a mohawk. A MOHAWK. Didn't this white trash trend DIE yet? It's worse than a mullet! It looks like the kid's face hasn't grown the same way as the rest of his skull, it's almost like he's been laying on a couch with a bottle in his mouth for the last year. Totally flat on the back of his head, with an underbite that makes him look like a Bulldog, and completely NO parental discipline as the little miracle child ran amok. (Do you think she'd be offended if I handed out condoms in her bag?)
She loves to stand there and comment on the jewelry cases; we have several of them and she must have tried on everything at least twice. She isn't going to buy anything mind you, she just wants you to take it out, let her try it on, bitch about it (wrong size/color/style/price/it's fake even though it's not/etc.). What's this, why is it that color, is this real, how much did you pay for it, who did you buy it from, how do you know it's real or not, why should she believe what you are saying, etc. She really doesn't want to know these things, she just can't keep the negative stream from flowing out of her mouth. Mind you, she has no qualms about telling you to take out jewelry for her, when you are in the middle of helping someone else; she's really something! She bought a dvd player from us awhile back and bitched about it for a couple of months; she bitched about a CD she bought and didn't like, ditto with a movie, etc. It's like once you sell her something, you have this physical relationship with her and she feels that she needs to tell you how much you suck in bed. She won't stop beating the dead horse until you ignore her, and then she'll move on to something else.
*Kobie couple came in; Mr. Kobie has just been diagnosed with cancer apparently. Now he and the missus used to be meth heads, and the way he was going off about how his doctors 'treat him like he's drug seeking' makes me wonder just what else they did. He used to be a patient of a local doctor who is so notorious for his prescribing habits that other doctors will not see you if you have been a patient of this doctor. But Mr. Kobie is on Medicaid (he and the missus have been cashing social security checks for years, and get one for the kid too) and the doctors who take the Medicaid must treat him. The doctor with the bad prescribing habits lost his ability to take Medicaid payments after some fraud allegations, so those people had to go somewhere else. Apparently though the new doctors are not responsive to his requests for pain medication, which translates into them 'treating him like a drug addict'. Well, you are...were...whatever, how are they SUPPOSED to treat you? He also won't stop smoking despite a nasty cough secondary to his cancer, but he insists that the smoking is not making him cough. (Can meth cause cancer, I wonder?? Surely it can, as nasty as it is to smoke LYE for gawdssakes). Mr. Kobie said, "I can't wait until Obama's health care kicks in and then they have to give me meds!" Um, you are ON government health care and you hate how you are treated, do you think honestly, that it's going to get better? Yes, you sure are a druggie! I might add that while they were there they paid a $150 cable bill. Yes, you are welcome, Kobie Couple!
*The woman with the 'miracle baby' came in today. Miracle Troll is about two years old I think, and he has a mohawk. A MOHAWK. Didn't this white trash trend DIE yet? It's worse than a mullet! It looks like the kid's face hasn't grown the same way as the rest of his skull, it's almost like he's been laying on a couch with a bottle in his mouth for the last year. Totally flat on the back of his head, with an underbite that makes him look like a Bulldog, and completely NO parental discipline as the little miracle child ran amok. (Do you think she'd be offended if I handed out condoms in her bag?)
"I Didn't Know White People Said That!"
A customer came in to pay on his loan; usually he argues with us about how much interest he owes. He pays late and not every month, so that when he does pay he's usually on the brink of losing his loan. Every time he pays it seems to happen, so today I was bracing for more of the same.
Today though he paid his interest, took his receipt and didn't say anything. Then somehow we got on the topic of beastly children. He is an elderly gentleman, and said how kids seemed so much more rude and more likely to misbehave now than when he was a child, and how you used to only notice rude children but now you seem to notice the polite and mannerly ones since they are so rare. He said, "Nowadays all you hear is 'my child needs medication', and that's not they problem!" I laughed and held up my hand and said, "I've got the medication they need right here!" and he laughed. His eyes got big, he walked over to me and put his hand on the counter, leaned in and said in a low voice, "You the first white person I ever hear say that, I thought all white folks put they kids on medication, that's all you ever hear!" We had a good laugh at that.
Today though he paid his interest, took his receipt and didn't say anything. Then somehow we got on the topic of beastly children. He is an elderly gentleman, and said how kids seemed so much more rude and more likely to misbehave now than when he was a child, and how you used to only notice rude children but now you seem to notice the polite and mannerly ones since they are so rare. He said, "Nowadays all you hear is 'my child needs medication', and that's not they problem!" I laughed and held up my hand and said, "I've got the medication they need right here!" and he laughed. His eyes got big, he walked over to me and put his hand on the counter, leaned in and said in a low voice, "You the first white person I ever hear say that, I thought all white folks put they kids on medication, that's all you ever hear!" We had a good laugh at that.
"I Shook Out The Roaches!"
Slim Shady brought in his stereo system, and when he set it onto the counter, roaches ran out of it. Real, live, fat, well-fed roaches! I tried hard not to scream (THEYRANRIGHTATME!!) and told him, take it out of here, roaches just ran out! His friend just stood there staring at me. I had to tell him a few more times, and actually push the stuff like I was going to shove it onto the floor if he didn't grab it! FINALLY it clicked in his brain and he took the pieces outside. He came back in and denied there were roaches but a customer standing right next to him confirmed he'd seen them. I did catch one of the roaches and smashed it, and showed it to Slim; "that didn't come outta MY stereo!" he denied. (Really? how do you KNOW that's not your roach?)
He spent some time banging the pieces around outside like he was trying to knock the bugs out, and I turned him down on a loan. He kept insisting over and over he had no idea how the roaches got in there (THEY CLIMBED!!) and 'now there ain't no roaches'! Another employee finally had to tell him that once they are in there, there is no telling whether there are more or not since they lay eggs. He just couldn't get it into his head that we weren't going to take it.
My skin is still crawling just typing this. Those had to be the plumpest, shiniest, healthiest roaches I've ever seen in my life! You watch, he'll try to bring it back in within a few days. I hope he does it on my day off!
He spent some time banging the pieces around outside like he was trying to knock the bugs out, and I turned him down on a loan. He kept insisting over and over he had no idea how the roaches got in there (THEY CLIMBED!!) and 'now there ain't no roaches'! Another employee finally had to tell him that once they are in there, there is no telling whether there are more or not since they lay eggs. He just couldn't get it into his head that we weren't going to take it.
My skin is still crawling just typing this. Those had to be the plumpest, shiniest, healthiest roaches I've ever seen in my life! You watch, he'll try to bring it back in within a few days. I hope he does it on my day off!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Motorized Cart Problem?
Are motorized shopping carts at grocery stores/Walmart *NOT* allowed to go down any aisle other than those containing junk food?
I've never seen a basket in one that contained any fresh produce or fruits/vegetables, only pizzas, pop, chips, etc. Is this a conspiracy???
I've never seen a basket in one that contained any fresh produce or fruits/vegetables, only pizzas, pop, chips, etc. Is this a conspiracy???
Crazy Biatch: Responsible Citizen!
So.....Crazy Biatch finally showed up to pick up her loan, and wrote it again. Only this time, she never came back for it, nor did she call. Per protocol (after holding it for her as a courtesy!) we deposited it; and it came back ACCOUNT CLOSED! Not only did she close the account (after getting her money from us), but we also received a notice after sending her to collection, that she filed bankruptcy! Of course this is not her first trip to the Banktruptcy Rodeo. What a fine, upstanding citizen she is!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Crazy Biatch Needs a New Car?
Crazy Biatch was due yesterday to pick up her loan. She never showed, nor did she call. As a favor we have her on an extended loan period, so that she can come in once a month instead of twice a month as she was previously.
Today she called and spoke to another employee (I was luckily off putting something away!). She wanted more time, past the month she'd already been given. Apparently she had a flat tire. (I am about to suggest she walk or bike, as that darn car just keeps causing her to be unable to get anywhere!) The employee asked me what to do, since she was late and this is far from the first time. I took the phone and told her to call back and talk to her favorite employee in about an hour, as he was gone. She said, "I can't call back." I told her, "That's up to you, CB." She immediately got defensive: "What do you mean it's up to me?" I told her that her fave person would be back soon and it's up to her whether she calls him or not, that we need to close this loan so if she doesn't call back or show up today, the check will be deposited. She snottily said, "I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW and errands to run, so I can't call back!" I told her again, that's up to you, he'll be here until we close at 7:00 p.m. so that's your decision whether to call or not. She sat there fuming, I could hear her nose-breathing heavily into the phone. She said, "FINE!" and hung up on me.
Crazy Biatch must have really been mad, because she called back about fifteen minutes later and got the same employee she'd spoken to before. It seems as though her month due date fell on a day we were closed, but the due date for the next day was handwritten on her form (a day I might add, that she ignored). She told the employee that it was OUR fault she could not come in and pay her loan, since we put it on a day we were closed. She must have thought she'd invented fire when she saw that it had been printed for a day we were not open and AHA! That's going to save her! The employee told her that she knew how the loans work and he wasn't buying it. He repeated this to her several more times. I walked by and said close to the phone, "Isn't she going to be late for her job interview?" She hung up. I badly wanted to ask her, "How can you get to your interview and errands with a flat tire but not come pay off your loan?"
CB called back about an hour later, I'd already forewarned her favorite man that she was not on her meds. Of course I had to answer the phone! She asked for 'the owner', I guess she incorrectly assumes the man she always tattles to/asks for is the owner. She tried her usual bow and scrape to her favorite employee, and this time he didn't tell her it was ok. He told her we had bent over backwards for her and that she needed to get in and pay her loan and that we had already carried her past the agreement several times. She did not linger on the phone today! So if a woman is firm with her on the phone or in person, she flips out. If a man does it, she backs down. I'm sure there has to be a name for this phenomenon somewhere.
Oh, yeah, it's "Crazy Biatch Syndrome!"
Today she called and spoke to another employee (I was luckily off putting something away!). She wanted more time, past the month she'd already been given. Apparently she had a flat tire. (I am about to suggest she walk or bike, as that darn car just keeps causing her to be unable to get anywhere!) The employee asked me what to do, since she was late and this is far from the first time. I took the phone and told her to call back and talk to her favorite employee in about an hour, as he was gone. She said, "I can't call back." I told her, "That's up to you, CB." She immediately got defensive: "What do you mean it's up to me?" I told her that her fave person would be back soon and it's up to her whether she calls him or not, that we need to close this loan so if she doesn't call back or show up today, the check will be deposited. She snottily said, "I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW and errands to run, so I can't call back!" I told her again, that's up to you, he'll be here until we close at 7:00 p.m. so that's your decision whether to call or not. She sat there fuming, I could hear her nose-breathing heavily into the phone. She said, "FINE!" and hung up on me.
Crazy Biatch must have really been mad, because she called back about fifteen minutes later and got the same employee she'd spoken to before. It seems as though her month due date fell on a day we were closed, but the due date for the next day was handwritten on her form (a day I might add, that she ignored). She told the employee that it was OUR fault she could not come in and pay her loan, since we put it on a day we were closed. She must have thought she'd invented fire when she saw that it had been printed for a day we were not open and AHA! That's going to save her! The employee told her that she knew how the loans work and he wasn't buying it. He repeated this to her several more times. I walked by and said close to the phone, "Isn't she going to be late for her job interview?" She hung up. I badly wanted to ask her, "How can you get to your interview and errands with a flat tire but not come pay off your loan?"
CB called back about an hour later, I'd already forewarned her favorite man that she was not on her meds. Of course I had to answer the phone! She asked for 'the owner', I guess she incorrectly assumes the man she always tattles to/asks for is the owner. She tried her usual bow and scrape to her favorite employee, and this time he didn't tell her it was ok. He told her we had bent over backwards for her and that she needed to get in and pay her loan and that we had already carried her past the agreement several times. She did not linger on the phone today! So if a woman is firm with her on the phone or in person, she flips out. If a man does it, she backs down. I'm sure there has to be a name for this phenomenon somewhere.
Oh, yeah, it's "Crazy Biatch Syndrome!"
Monday, May 17, 2010
I sell diet pills! They work! Even if I'm Fat!
Today while out driving, I saw a car plastered with a web site and product name, and they even had a personalized tag with the product name. The product is for a line of supplements that are total bogus MLM bullcrap. What cracked me up was the invitation to ask the driver of the car how YOU could lose weight on this product: and the driver was a complete lard ass!
Ah, the irony.
Ah, the irony.
"KEVIN THINKS YOU ARE A C*CKSUCKER"
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Monday, February 1, 2010
Wendy's? I'm for Adoption Too!
We went to eat a quick bite at Wendy's tonight. We had just plopped our behinds into our seats and started munching, when a couple of little girls ran screaming past our table. They were cute for about five seconds, and then our eardrums started to verge on shatter-level at their noise. My husband commented about where their parents were (or were not: not watching them at any rate!) as the girls ran around...and around...and around, up and down the chairs, screaming and yelling like their hair was on fire.
There were only two tables in the whole restaurant with diners seated at them; we were in one. So where do Mama and Papa seat their little darlings? RIGHT BEHIND US. Not just near us, but Mama's hair brushed the back of me several times when she leaned back. When I turned my head to the right to whisper something to my husband, I ALMOST could have planted a smooch on Papa! WHO makes seating this close on purpose? To just get up and move would have been too obviously rude so we toughed it out. I think we earned extra karma points for not running and screaming ourselves.
What is the DEAL with parents who spend all their time and energy cajoling their kids to eat? Do they not see that to the kids, it's a game? It's attention?
This is what we had to listen to from Mama and Papa for most of our meal:
"Kimmerly, come sit down, eat your cheeseburger honey!"
"Look, look at your yummy nuggets! MMMMM MMM they are so good, mommy's going to take a bite if you don't eat it!"
"Sit down and eat, ok? Let's sit down and eat."
"Why don't you come up from under the table now ok? Just eat a bite for mommy ok?"
"let's get down off the table and eat ok?? OK??? Just a bite? Just a little bite?"
"Don't throw your french fries ok? Take a bite for mommy??"
"Oh let's not wipe sauce on the table, ok? Please honey take a bite of your nuggets, please? Please?"
You get the idea. Anyone else remember when your parents not only wouldn't put up with this crap, but you wouldn't DARE act like a monkey at the zoo when it was time to eat? GET DOWN OFF THE TABLE? Who the hell are you kidding?
Rather than expect their children to behave, the parents spent the entire meal pleading with their kids to eat, and the other part IGNORING them; I guess they gave up.
Imagine hearing stuff like this while you are trying to enjoy your meal, which was peaceful and quiet just minutes before.
*"I want to put the bag in the middle of the table! It can be our trash can!"
"NO! NO! don't put that in there, that's not trash!" (kid snatches bag, other kid screams and breaks the sound barrier) Bag goes flying, and stays on the floor.
"NO MATO's! I DON'T LIKE MATOES! NO NO NO" "That mato touched my chikkin WAHHHHHH"
"That's my straw!" NO that's MY STRAW! I wanted that straw!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHH
"look my chicken floats!" "WAHHHH that's my drink WAHHHH get it out WAHHHHHHHHH"
"STOP IT STOP IT!" (mom: let's come out from under the table ok? OK????? beg plead!)
"NO DADDY that's my fwench fwy WAHHHHH DADDY ATE MY FWENCH FWY WAHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"I DON'T WANT THE BREAD NO NO GET IT OFF NOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
I want to see a migraine medication make a commercial that uses this scenario; if their pill can stop THIS migraine nightmare, I'll buy it. By the case.
When we stood up to leave I snuck a peek over at their table; it looked like a fast food bomb had gone off all over the place. Fries on the floor and table, ketchup smeared on the table and booth, bits and pieces of food everywhere! Torn up napkins and straw wrappers thrown like so much confetti. And, no doubt these folks won't make one bit of effort to clean any of it up when they get up to leave.
Dave was all for adoption; so am I! Let these kids be adopted by parents who will teach them some stinkin' MANNERS! I got yer fwench fwy right here!
There were only two tables in the whole restaurant with diners seated at them; we were in one. So where do Mama and Papa seat their little darlings? RIGHT BEHIND US. Not just near us, but Mama's hair brushed the back of me several times when she leaned back. When I turned my head to the right to whisper something to my husband, I ALMOST could have planted a smooch on Papa! WHO makes seating this close on purpose? To just get up and move would have been too obviously rude so we toughed it out. I think we earned extra karma points for not running and screaming ourselves.
What is the DEAL with parents who spend all their time and energy cajoling their kids to eat? Do they not see that to the kids, it's a game? It's attention?
This is what we had to listen to from Mama and Papa for most of our meal:
"Kimmerly, come sit down, eat your cheeseburger honey!"
"Look, look at your yummy nuggets! MMMMM MMM they are so good, mommy's going to take a bite if you don't eat it!"
"Sit down and eat, ok? Let's sit down and eat."
"Why don't you come up from under the table now ok? Just eat a bite for mommy ok?"
"let's get down off the table and eat ok?? OK??? Just a bite? Just a little bite?"
"Don't throw your french fries ok? Take a bite for mommy??"
"Oh let's not wipe sauce on the table, ok? Please honey take a bite of your nuggets, please? Please?"
You get the idea. Anyone else remember when your parents not only wouldn't put up with this crap, but you wouldn't DARE act like a monkey at the zoo when it was time to eat? GET DOWN OFF THE TABLE? Who the hell are you kidding?
Rather than expect their children to behave, the parents spent the entire meal pleading with their kids to eat, and the other part IGNORING them; I guess they gave up.
Imagine hearing stuff like this while you are trying to enjoy your meal, which was peaceful and quiet just minutes before.
*"I want to put the bag in the middle of the table! It can be our trash can!"
"NO! NO! don't put that in there, that's not trash!" (kid snatches bag, other kid screams and breaks the sound barrier) Bag goes flying, and stays on the floor.
"NO MATO's! I DON'T LIKE MATOES! NO NO NO" "That mato touched my chikkin WAHHHHHH"
"That's my straw!" NO that's MY STRAW! I wanted that straw!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHH
"look my chicken floats!" "WAHHHH that's my drink WAHHHH get it out WAHHHHHHHHH"
"STOP IT STOP IT!" (mom: let's come out from under the table ok? OK????? beg plead!)
"NO DADDY that's my fwench fwy WAHHHHH DADDY ATE MY FWENCH FWY WAHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"I DON'T WANT THE BREAD NO NO GET IT OFF NOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
I want to see a migraine medication make a commercial that uses this scenario; if their pill can stop THIS migraine nightmare, I'll buy it. By the case.
When we stood up to leave I snuck a peek over at their table; it looked like a fast food bomb had gone off all over the place. Fries on the floor and table, ketchup smeared on the table and booth, bits and pieces of food everywhere! Torn up napkins and straw wrappers thrown like so much confetti. And, no doubt these folks won't make one bit of effort to clean any of it up when they get up to leave.
Dave was all for adoption; so am I! Let these kids be adopted by parents who will teach them some stinkin' MANNERS! I got yer fwench fwy right here!
My Irresponsibility Means Nothing!
This is my new favorite reason why we need to give a guy a break on our prices:
"Yeah man see I gambled all my money, serious money, thousands of dollars, ya know? So I want this tool really bad but your price is out of reach right now. I don't have any money until my tax return comes."
I told him if he thought our price was too high he should see what the store has it priced at new. He made various and sundry promises to return when his tax return comes; I'm sure some tribal casino somewhere will see the bulk of it, instead.
"Yeah man see I gambled all my money, serious money, thousands of dollars, ya know? So I want this tool really bad but your price is out of reach right now. I don't have any money until my tax return comes."
I told him if he thought our price was too high he should see what the store has it priced at new. He made various and sundry promises to return when his tax return comes; I'm sure some tribal casino somewhere will see the bulk of it, instead.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Trash Talkin
What is up with folks who talk like they have stuff in their mouths? Ok I know I keep mentioning it but this really bugs me. It's like their lips are too lazy to move enough to fully form words and it's too much effort for them to enunciate clearly.
HOW many times have any of us stood at the counter talking to some gang rat and we have to keep saying, "What? I'm sorry, what?" Do you know how often I come >this< close to saying, "Get the sh-t out of your mouth?"
Yesterday two young guys came in, probably about 13 or 14. Do rags, carrying huge bags of chips they were stuffing in their faces and dropping crumbs and chunks all over our carpet. One kid came up and he has iPod earbuds stuffed in his ears, blaring so loudly I can hear the 'bitches and hos' coming out of it. If this was a car stereo our windows would be shaking. He said, "___ pay on ____". (??)
I asked him to repeat himself. "I wan' pay ___ ____ _____"
I apologized and asked, "Can you say that again, I can't hear you very well, also could you turn off the music or turn it down? I just can't hear you." (Now isn't that sad when HIS private music is that loud?)
He pulled out ONE earbud and turned it down (mostly) and said, "I wan' pay _____ ______ ___ stuff."
I'm getting very frustrated. VERY frustrated. "I'm sorry but I'm just not understanding you. You want to make a payment? On a loan?"
Earbud: "nah. I wanna pay ___ _________". I asked again, "Is this a loan? Is this a pawn?"
Earbud: "Nah nah I WANNA PAY ON (mumble mumble shit in mouth)".
Me: Ok you want to pay on something, I'm sorry I just can't understand you very well. Can you speak clearly? Can you spell it?"
Earbud: I WANNA PAY ON (mumble)OBIN(mumble).
Me: Repeats what I thought I heard, only I barely got it right. I asked him, can you please just spell it?
Earbud: Ah eh beh aye-it ehn es ah en....... (ROBINSON, did you get that?)
Me: Ok Robinson?
Earbud: Yieah.
Me: First name?
Earbud: repeats a string of letters barely intelligible so screw it, I took a chance on an obviously nonwhite name and bingo that was her. Took his money, gave him a receipt, thanked him.
As Earbud turned to go, he said to his friend, "Yo man lesssgo!" So he can speak audibly and intelligibly when he feels like it.
This happens so often, and especially with teenagers. I know I'm not deef, and it shouldn't be this hard to interact with someone. How are they going to interview for a job? Ok don't answer that. Next time, I'm going to just pretend that it's all me, it's all my hearing, and make them speak up or they are crap out of luck. There are non-citizens who speak more clearly than these assbites, they can learn to speak clearly or ... not to me!
HOW many times have any of us stood at the counter talking to some gang rat and we have to keep saying, "What? I'm sorry, what?" Do you know how often I come >this< close to saying, "Get the sh-t out of your mouth?"
Yesterday two young guys came in, probably about 13 or 14. Do rags, carrying huge bags of chips they were stuffing in their faces and dropping crumbs and chunks all over our carpet. One kid came up and he has iPod earbuds stuffed in his ears, blaring so loudly I can hear the 'bitches and hos' coming out of it. If this was a car stereo our windows would be shaking. He said, "___ pay on ____". (??)
I asked him to repeat himself. "I wan' pay ___ ____ _____"
I apologized and asked, "Can you say that again, I can't hear you very well, also could you turn off the music or turn it down? I just can't hear you." (Now isn't that sad when HIS private music is that loud?)
He pulled out ONE earbud and turned it down (mostly) and said, "I wan' pay _____ ______ ___ stuff."
I'm getting very frustrated. VERY frustrated. "I'm sorry but I'm just not understanding you. You want to make a payment? On a loan?"
Earbud: "nah. I wanna pay ___ _________". I asked again, "Is this a loan? Is this a pawn?"
Earbud: "Nah nah I WANNA PAY ON (mumble mumble shit in mouth)".
Me: Ok you want to pay on something, I'm sorry I just can't understand you very well. Can you speak clearly? Can you spell it?"
Earbud: I WANNA PAY ON (mumble)OBIN(mumble).
Me: Repeats what I thought I heard, only I barely got it right. I asked him, can you please just spell it?
Earbud: Ah eh beh aye-it ehn es ah en....... (ROBINSON, did you get that?)
Me: Ok Robinson?
Earbud: Yieah.
Me: First name?
Earbud: repeats a string of letters barely intelligible so screw it, I took a chance on an obviously nonwhite name and bingo that was her. Took his money, gave him a receipt, thanked him.
As Earbud turned to go, he said to his friend, "Yo man lesssgo!" So he can speak audibly and intelligibly when he feels like it.
This happens so often, and especially with teenagers. I know I'm not deef, and it shouldn't be this hard to interact with someone. How are they going to interview for a job? Ok don't answer that. Next time, I'm going to just pretend that it's all me, it's all my hearing, and make them speak up or they are crap out of luck. There are non-citizens who speak more clearly than these assbites, they can learn to speak clearly or ... not to me!
Crazy Biatch Breaks with Reality
Crazy Biatch didn't pick up her loan, so we deposited it.
Normally she calls and wants an extension, her reason usually something like "another company illegally deposited the check, her car broke down", things of that nature. This time she didn't call and we waited until PAST the deadline and deposited it. I failed to consult the stars and see that she needed more time, apparently.
Yesterday the phone rings and rings, and I see the Caller ID says it's Crazy Biatch. We all had customers so I told other folks to ignore the phone, I'll get it when I'm not busy. Crazy Biatch calls back several more times and I let it ring. Then she apparently borrows someone else's phone and calls; I had a feeling it was really her so I let it ring another eight or nine times just in case, and answered it.
Crazy Biatch: Yes, this is Crazy Biatch, I just tried to call and you wouldn't answer the phone!
Me: We are very busy, CB, I'm sorry. We are just backed up.
Crazy Biatch: Yes but you answered it when it wasn't from me but you ignored it when I called from my cell phone!
Me: I'm certainly not psychic, we were simply backed up with customers and we don't ignore customers in the store to answer the phone, is there anything I can help you with? (knowing her check was deposited and this is really what she's calling for.)
But...Crazy Biatch was intensely focused on the fact that SHE had been ignored while I had answered a phone from a different number. (She doesn't know we have Caller ID but probably assumes we do.) I did my best to dispel her paranoia (while really it was true, I didn't REALLY want to wallow in her craziness today!). She just WOULD NOT LET IT GO so finally I let Mommy come out and said firmly, "What can I help you with, CB?"
CB: You deposited my check and you weren't supposed to!
Me: Let me go see what happened, ok? (I already know what happened but I don't want to seem like I have it in for her or anything so I play stupid when she calls and pretend I'm reading out of her file.)
Me: CB? I am looking at your file here and it looks like we held your loan extra days and then deposited it.
CB: (getting VERY angry!) I came in just ten days ago, you should not have deposited that check! You weren't supposed to!
Me: No CB, you came in over two weeks ago, and the check was due many days before we deposited it.
CB: I KNOW WHAT DAY I came in! It was ten days ago! You are wrong!
Me: CB, you came in on ___, and we were closed. You knocked on the door after we had closed and ___ waited on you.
CB: Oh. Was it that day? Ok. Well I told that person I had lost my job and I needed the check put on my payday for the next week.
I know damned good and well she never mentioned she had lost her job. First of all I was standing right next to that person as he helped her, and heard every word she said to him as she was sending me hate-daggers. Not once did she mention losing her job, or that employee would have made a note of it. I also would have heard it and if HE didn't make a note of it, I would have, because I just flat out dislike this nasty crazy bitch and don't want her to have the opportunity to screw us.
Me: I'm sorry CB but if you'd mentioned a job loss, one or both of us would have put a note on your account, and since I was standing there also, that never came up.
CB: Yes I DID tell him, and he didn't put it on the day I told him to!
Me: Well I'm looking at the calendar and even if you HAD told him you'd be in on payday, it looks like the day we deposited it is several days PAST that day, so either way you never called nor did you make any kind of contact about it.
CB: Well my car broke down and I've had trouble with it, it just slipped my mind. And I thought I had two weeks. (Which is it???) Anyway it bounced and I need to come write another loan.
Me: You'll have to show proof the check cleared the bank before we can write another loan, but if you need to make payments on this one we'll work with you.
CB: (getting shrill!) I don't HAVE any money to make payments! I have maybe $300 in my account, that check is going to bounce and my account is going to be a mess! You shouldn't have deposited it! (what, are we supposed to frame it and stare at it??) I'm going to put a stop pay on it!
Me: Well CB here's the problem: if you put a stop pay on it, we will have to send it directly to collections. If you make payments on it, we'll work with you and you'll still be able to write loans here.
CB: If I stop pay I understand I can't write loans for a year or so, who cares.
Me: OH no, it's not like that. You wrote a contract to pay this loan, a stop pay is for a stolen check or services not provided. You got your money, and if you put a stop pay on it that is a breach of contract and we'll have to send it directly to the lawyer for collection, and we will never be able to write you a loan again. If you just make payments on it, we'll work with you, so that you can pay over time and get it taken care of. We'll WORK with you, CB, don't worry.
CB: BUT I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY IT OFF! You keep telling me to make payments and I don't have the money! You aren't listening!
Me: Why don't you come in and talk to the owner this afternoon, he can explain it to you. You've been with us a long time and we understand things happen. We will work with you, CB. (trying to talk in a calm, soothing voice)
CB: Sounds very angry like I'm kicking her dog in front of her....and hangs up.
She called back later and talked to a MALE EMPLOYEE (which makes all the difference to her). She was all but sobbing, apologizing, and she didn't lose her job she just lost ONE Job, I got it wrong, etc. I guess her bank HAD put the check through so we got our money, but she was in the negative. She couldn't put a stop pay on it. However the bank did honor the check so she brought in a printout of it to prove it had gone through and I was told it was ok to write her another loan. I saw her come in and I plastered a fake smile on my face and said through almost-gritted teeth, "Hi CB! Are we writing you a loan?" She was looking for the male employee she'd spoken to (he was hiding from her) and talked past me, around me, as she swiveled her head this way and that trying to have him SAVE her from me. "Oh yes I got it taken care of, I talked to >>> and I can write one. Here is the check I was supposed to bring." I took the bank copy of the check and got permission to write her another loan. As I was coming to the front desk again, she said, "You don't need to keep taking it back there, I already got it approved." I smiled and said, "We are good to go, just go ahead and write your check and we can get started!" But, no. Much like the car repair fiasco of years ago, she just could-not-let-it-ride. "Do you want to call the bank and make sure the check cleared?" I smiled and said no, we are good to go. "Because you can call the bank if you don't believe me." Again I smiled and said we're good! She just STOOD there, pen in hand, checkbook open, but not making one ounce of effort to start writing her check. It's like she had to get this foreplay out of the way before she could write her check. She is just UNBELIEVABLE in her pathological screwballness! It's as if she couldn't write the check unless and until we had a verbal fisticuffs, and I wasn't in the mood to take her crap. So I told her, let me know when you are ready, I'm going to check this nice man out while you do that. Still she stood there as if the voices in her head hadn't given her permission yet. "I can call the bank, you can hear it on the phone if you don't believe me!" I ignored her and checked out my customer. She picked up the pen and started to write...then paused and said, "If you have internet, I can log in and show you! I can show you right now, it's cleared." OK, screw this crazy pustule, I'm done with her. I called her favorite male employee to come help me up front; and he got to finish her transaction. She got this meek, little-girl voice that was almost 'sobbing' and apologized, oh how embarrassed she was, oh how humiliated, OMG woe is me..... as soon as my customer was gone I excused myself to go to the ladies' room. I wonder if she steals drugs from patients? She is truly a case. I can't wait to get rid of her, she's not worth the loan money.
Normally she calls and wants an extension, her reason usually something like "another company illegally deposited the check, her car broke down", things of that nature. This time she didn't call and we waited until PAST the deadline and deposited it. I failed to consult the stars and see that she needed more time, apparently.
Yesterday the phone rings and rings, and I see the Caller ID says it's Crazy Biatch. We all had customers so I told other folks to ignore the phone, I'll get it when I'm not busy. Crazy Biatch calls back several more times and I let it ring. Then she apparently borrows someone else's phone and calls; I had a feeling it was really her so I let it ring another eight or nine times just in case, and answered it.
Crazy Biatch: Yes, this is Crazy Biatch, I just tried to call and you wouldn't answer the phone!
Me: We are very busy, CB, I'm sorry. We are just backed up.
Crazy Biatch: Yes but you answered it when it wasn't from me but you ignored it when I called from my cell phone!
Me: I'm certainly not psychic, we were simply backed up with customers and we don't ignore customers in the store to answer the phone, is there anything I can help you with? (knowing her check was deposited and this is really what she's calling for.)
But...Crazy Biatch was intensely focused on the fact that SHE had been ignored while I had answered a phone from a different number. (She doesn't know we have Caller ID but probably assumes we do.) I did my best to dispel her paranoia (while really it was true, I didn't REALLY want to wallow in her craziness today!). She just WOULD NOT LET IT GO so finally I let Mommy come out and said firmly, "What can I help you with, CB?"
CB: You deposited my check and you weren't supposed to!
Me: Let me go see what happened, ok? (I already know what happened but I don't want to seem like I have it in for her or anything so I play stupid when she calls and pretend I'm reading out of her file.)
Me: CB? I am looking at your file here and it looks like we held your loan extra days and then deposited it.
CB: (getting VERY angry!) I came in just ten days ago, you should not have deposited that check! You weren't supposed to!
Me: No CB, you came in over two weeks ago, and the check was due many days before we deposited it.
CB: I KNOW WHAT DAY I came in! It was ten days ago! You are wrong!
Me: CB, you came in on ___, and we were closed. You knocked on the door after we had closed and ___ waited on you.
CB: Oh. Was it that day? Ok. Well I told that person I had lost my job and I needed the check put on my payday for the next week.
I know damned good and well she never mentioned she had lost her job. First of all I was standing right next to that person as he helped her, and heard every word she said to him as she was sending me hate-daggers. Not once did she mention losing her job, or that employee would have made a note of it. I also would have heard it and if HE didn't make a note of it, I would have, because I just flat out dislike this nasty crazy bitch and don't want her to have the opportunity to screw us.
Me: I'm sorry CB but if you'd mentioned a job loss, one or both of us would have put a note on your account, and since I was standing there also, that never came up.
CB: Yes I DID tell him, and he didn't put it on the day I told him to!
Me: Well I'm looking at the calendar and even if you HAD told him you'd be in on payday, it looks like the day we deposited it is several days PAST that day, so either way you never called nor did you make any kind of contact about it.
CB: Well my car broke down and I've had trouble with it, it just slipped my mind. And I thought I had two weeks. (Which is it???) Anyway it bounced and I need to come write another loan.
Me: You'll have to show proof the check cleared the bank before we can write another loan, but if you need to make payments on this one we'll work with you.
CB: (getting shrill!) I don't HAVE any money to make payments! I have maybe $300 in my account, that check is going to bounce and my account is going to be a mess! You shouldn't have deposited it! (what, are we supposed to frame it and stare at it??) I'm going to put a stop pay on it!
Me: Well CB here's the problem: if you put a stop pay on it, we will have to send it directly to collections. If you make payments on it, we'll work with you and you'll still be able to write loans here.
CB: If I stop pay I understand I can't write loans for a year or so, who cares.
Me: OH no, it's not like that. You wrote a contract to pay this loan, a stop pay is for a stolen check or services not provided. You got your money, and if you put a stop pay on it that is a breach of contract and we'll have to send it directly to the lawyer for collection, and we will never be able to write you a loan again. If you just make payments on it, we'll work with you, so that you can pay over time and get it taken care of. We'll WORK with you, CB, don't worry.
CB: BUT I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY IT OFF! You keep telling me to make payments and I don't have the money! You aren't listening!
Me: Why don't you come in and talk to the owner this afternoon, he can explain it to you. You've been with us a long time and we understand things happen. We will work with you, CB. (trying to talk in a calm, soothing voice)
CB: Sounds very angry like I'm kicking her dog in front of her....and hangs up.
She called back later and talked to a MALE EMPLOYEE (which makes all the difference to her). She was all but sobbing, apologizing, and she didn't lose her job she just lost ONE Job, I got it wrong, etc. I guess her bank HAD put the check through so we got our money, but she was in the negative. She couldn't put a stop pay on it. However the bank did honor the check so she brought in a printout of it to prove it had gone through and I was told it was ok to write her another loan. I saw her come in and I plastered a fake smile on my face and said through almost-gritted teeth, "Hi CB! Are we writing you a loan?" She was looking for the male employee she'd spoken to (he was hiding from her) and talked past me, around me, as she swiveled her head this way and that trying to have him SAVE her from me. "Oh yes I got it taken care of, I talked to >>> and I can write one. Here is the check I was supposed to bring." I took the bank copy of the check and got permission to write her another loan. As I was coming to the front desk again, she said, "You don't need to keep taking it back there, I already got it approved." I smiled and said, "We are good to go, just go ahead and write your check and we can get started!" But, no. Much like the car repair fiasco of years ago, she just could-not-let-it-ride. "Do you want to call the bank and make sure the check cleared?" I smiled and said no, we are good to go. "Because you can call the bank if you don't believe me." Again I smiled and said we're good! She just STOOD there, pen in hand, checkbook open, but not making one ounce of effort to start writing her check. It's like she had to get this foreplay out of the way before she could write her check. She is just UNBELIEVABLE in her pathological screwballness! It's as if she couldn't write the check unless and until we had a verbal fisticuffs, and I wasn't in the mood to take her crap. So I told her, let me know when you are ready, I'm going to check this nice man out while you do that. Still she stood there as if the voices in her head hadn't given her permission yet. "I can call the bank, you can hear it on the phone if you don't believe me!" I ignored her and checked out my customer. She picked up the pen and started to write...then paused and said, "If you have internet, I can log in and show you! I can show you right now, it's cleared." OK, screw this crazy pustule, I'm done with her. I called her favorite male employee to come help me up front; and he got to finish her transaction. She got this meek, little-girl voice that was almost 'sobbing' and apologized, oh how embarrassed she was, oh how humiliated, OMG woe is me..... as soon as my customer was gone I excused myself to go to the ladies' room. I wonder if she steals drugs from patients? She is truly a case. I can't wait to get rid of her, she's not worth the loan money.
More Stupid Customer Tricks
*We have a regular who just drives.me.crazy.!! He thinks he's Eminem. (NO, correction, he loves Insane Clown Posse and thinks Eminem is a "p*ssy", I forgot he and I had this conversation. Sorry.) I think we'll call him Slim Shady just to annoy him. Slim has done jail time, he's a felon, and he thinks that his felony record is the reason why he can't keep a job. Yes that's right, plenty of people HIRE him, but he can't hold a job to save his life. Let's just blame it on his felony record and not, oh, poor work ethic.
He actually LOOKS like what you'd expect if Eminem developed a serious meth problem and lost about 100 pounds. I made the mistake of telling him he looked like Eminem, which set him off. At any rate he's a real scam and a half. If he wants to get a loan on something, we never offer enough because don't you know, he paid about $1000 for everything, even if it retails for $19.99. If we are selling something, however, we are just trying to rip him off. And don't even try to tell him you won't take something he's trying to get a loan on, somehow in his mind if he just bullies you long enough and hard enough, you'll give in. He doesn't do it to me anymore because I say, "Slim, why do we do this every time?" But he does it to everyone else and it's maddening. His new favorite game is to come into the store and say, "I'll give you ___, tax included, for this, that's all I've got". Usually for very expensive Xbox 360, Wii, and PS3 games.
Normally his offer is $20, and these games retail for $60 new and we have them priced way, way below that. He did it again yesterday and I told him no, we are very competitive and have them priced at less than half of new. He immediately became indignant; "WHERE are they priced that? I'd like to see THAT!" I told him Wal-Mart for one. He scoffed and said, "Nah they ain't that much there." (Yes they are, I just put that game out.) He said, "Seriously, twenty bucks is all I have." Now, per usual, he is REEKING of freshly-toked pot. Obnoxiously stinky! So I told him we have plenty of other games for less than $20. "I want this one, man." I smiled and said, "Well that one is $29.95 plus tax if you want it." He argued and bitched and whined and even said so-and-so game store has that game cheaper (they sell OLD Xbox games for more than we sell NEW Xbox 360 games for!). I told him wow, you better go get that game at SoandSo if you can find it for less there! He stood at the counter glaring at me and then tried the wheedle and cajole, "Seriously, seriously, $20 is all I have, I'll take this game right here, right now!" I laughed and siad, "I bet you would!" Then he tried being rude and obnoxious again, doing the "I"m a good customer" routine, etc. Finally I'd had enough and said, "That cologne you are wearing is REALLY EXPENSIVE, maybe you ought to stop buying bags of it and save up for the games you want." He went over, put back the $29.95 game and bought a $12.95 game without further comment, and left. The smell lingered forever.
*Darel Lucas (yes I'm going to use his name because he's such a douchebag scammer!) came in wanting a loan. I told him on the phone what he needed to have; a current paycheck stub, his bank statement dated this month from a bank that is here in town, etc. What did he bring in? A paycheck stub showing paydate through 12/25/09, and an often-photocopied piece of paper purporting to be from his bank. Only, this 'bank' is in some other state, and this paper was dated 12/2009. There weren't even any transactions after 12/10-09. Now, Darel has an attitude right off the bat when he came in, like he's a little gangbanger, and he didn't even really try to hide his nasty attitude. He seemed like he was prepared for the inevitable 'NO" he was going to get. Not only that, he's one of those folks who talk like they have crap in their mouths, like forming whole, understandable words is just too much effort for them and their mouth is lazy.
SO, I ask him, "Is this your most recent paycheck stub?"
Darel: yieh. (This is "Yeah", but the lazy way.)
me: This is dated for last year, over a month ago.
Darel: Yieh. So.
me: Do you have anything more recent? This shows you get paid every two weeks and this pay date ends 12-25-09.
Darel: No dat's it dats what you axed for. (You get the idea. It kills me to type like that, I'm going to pretend he's not talking with crap in his mouth, for your sanity and mine)
me: Well Darel if this is your most recent paycheck stub then you aren't employed right now.
Darel: I have another one somewheres, a new one. I can go get it.
me: Ok well why don't you go get that?
Darel stands there staring at me like I hadn't said anything.
Then I pick up the bank statement and ask him, do you have a recent one? He is already lousy with attitude at this dumb white bitch busting his chops and he starts to lose it.
Darel: that's what you wanted, that's what I brung.
me: yes, on the phone I mentioned we needed a bank statement, recent, and not printed or copied or photocopied like this, and from a bank here in town.
Darel: I don't got no bank here, this is from Washington! I told you that! (??) Where I gonna get a statement, they in Washington! I ain't got no bank here! Why you tell me that, I can't get that!
Me: I'm sorry you came all the way down here, that's why I tell you on the phone before you drive down here, so you don't waste your time.
Darel: No you said it just had to be stamped by a local bank and it is, see? they faxed that. that's all I have and they ain't here, so how can I have it if it's in Washington? (huh??)
Me: repeats what I told him on the phone. He is shaking his head and starting to poke the papers on the counter HARD with each word. Please don't stand in front of me with a do rag on and pants hanging to your knees and be a jerk like this is going to bully me into doing what you want....
Darel: You told me on the phone and that's what I brung, now you change your story?
Me: (tiring of this old game of "I can talk circles and say nothing") I see here you have an overdraft. SO even if this was a local bank-and it certainly isn't-and even if this was a current statement-it certainly isn't, with an overdraft I am unable to write a loan for you.
Darel; Man are you serious, this is serious bullshit, you didn't say none a' this shit on the phone, now you changing you story? How'm I spose to do anything? You say I need a local bank well I ain't got one, this one in Washington, how that my fault, how I spose to know this when you change your story?
Me: Darel, it shows no recent activity on your account since December, and it ends with a negative balance.
Darel: See that's all they gave me that's all I got, how can I help that? That ain't my fault!
Me: Well what I would suggest is taking your paperwork to another company and see what they say, I'm sure someone else is not as picky as we are. This paperwork is simply not current and I need something not dated 2009, wherever it may come from. I'm sorry that I'm unable to help you with a loan at this time.
Darel: Company, what company? What other company, what you talking about, other company?
Me: Other loan companies.
Darel: I already have four other loans, you aren't helping me at all. This is some bullshit, man!
Me: Four other paycheck loans? Wow. I'm sorry, if you have that many I wouldn't be able to write you at all. That's way too many.
Darel: mumbling and cursing (making sure we could hear the CURSE part) as he saunters away from the counter.
Me: Perhaps you need to lay off the paycheck loans? That's way too many. DIG DIG.
Darel: mutters something that sounds suspiciously like he's telling a female dog to have intercourse with herself...
Then, another one of our customers who had been looking at the sunglasses said very loudly, "Or try getting a job!" I love it when one of our regular customers says something to a jerky person as they leave. It's so...satisfying.
Yes, Darel, it's all our fault, it's not your fault that you brought in old, outdated paperwork trying to get a loan and stick us with it since you obviously are not employed at that place any longer, nor do you really still have this bank account (if you ever did). I'm so sorry that sitting there and acting like a persecuted victim...gasp, you didn't TELL ME ALL THIS ON THE PHONE....didn't work this time. I know it works so well in all other walks of life. (eye roll)
He actually LOOKS like what you'd expect if Eminem developed a serious meth problem and lost about 100 pounds. I made the mistake of telling him he looked like Eminem, which set him off. At any rate he's a real scam and a half. If he wants to get a loan on something, we never offer enough because don't you know, he paid about $1000 for everything, even if it retails for $19.99. If we are selling something, however, we are just trying to rip him off. And don't even try to tell him you won't take something he's trying to get a loan on, somehow in his mind if he just bullies you long enough and hard enough, you'll give in. He doesn't do it to me anymore because I say, "Slim, why do we do this every time?" But he does it to everyone else and it's maddening. His new favorite game is to come into the store and say, "I'll give you ___, tax included, for this, that's all I've got". Usually for very expensive Xbox 360, Wii, and PS3 games.
Normally his offer is $20, and these games retail for $60 new and we have them priced way, way below that. He did it again yesterday and I told him no, we are very competitive and have them priced at less than half of new. He immediately became indignant; "WHERE are they priced that? I'd like to see THAT!" I told him Wal-Mart for one. He scoffed and said, "Nah they ain't that much there." (Yes they are, I just put that game out.) He said, "Seriously, twenty bucks is all I have." Now, per usual, he is REEKING of freshly-toked pot. Obnoxiously stinky! So I told him we have plenty of other games for less than $20. "I want this one, man." I smiled and said, "Well that one is $29.95 plus tax if you want it." He argued and bitched and whined and even said so-and-so game store has that game cheaper (they sell OLD Xbox games for more than we sell NEW Xbox 360 games for!). I told him wow, you better go get that game at SoandSo if you can find it for less there! He stood at the counter glaring at me and then tried the wheedle and cajole, "Seriously, seriously, $20 is all I have, I'll take this game right here, right now!" I laughed and siad, "I bet you would!" Then he tried being rude and obnoxious again, doing the "I"m a good customer" routine, etc. Finally I'd had enough and said, "That cologne you are wearing is REALLY EXPENSIVE, maybe you ought to stop buying bags of it and save up for the games you want." He went over, put back the $29.95 game and bought a $12.95 game without further comment, and left. The smell lingered forever.
*Darel Lucas (yes I'm going to use his name because he's such a douchebag scammer!) came in wanting a loan. I told him on the phone what he needed to have; a current paycheck stub, his bank statement dated this month from a bank that is here in town, etc. What did he bring in? A paycheck stub showing paydate through 12/25/09, and an often-photocopied piece of paper purporting to be from his bank. Only, this 'bank' is in some other state, and this paper was dated 12/2009. There weren't even any transactions after 12/10-09. Now, Darel has an attitude right off the bat when he came in, like he's a little gangbanger, and he didn't even really try to hide his nasty attitude. He seemed like he was prepared for the inevitable 'NO" he was going to get. Not only that, he's one of those folks who talk like they have crap in their mouths, like forming whole, understandable words is just too much effort for them and their mouth is lazy.
SO, I ask him, "Is this your most recent paycheck stub?"
Darel: yieh. (This is "Yeah", but the lazy way.)
me: This is dated for last year, over a month ago.
Darel: Yieh. So.
me: Do you have anything more recent? This shows you get paid every two weeks and this pay date ends 12-25-09.
Darel: No dat's it dats what you axed for. (You get the idea. It kills me to type like that, I'm going to pretend he's not talking with crap in his mouth, for your sanity and mine)
me: Well Darel if this is your most recent paycheck stub then you aren't employed right now.
Darel: I have another one somewheres, a new one. I can go get it.
me: Ok well why don't you go get that?
Darel stands there staring at me like I hadn't said anything.
Then I pick up the bank statement and ask him, do you have a recent one? He is already lousy with attitude at this dumb white bitch busting his chops and he starts to lose it.
Darel: that's what you wanted, that's what I brung.
me: yes, on the phone I mentioned we needed a bank statement, recent, and not printed or copied or photocopied like this, and from a bank here in town.
Darel: I don't got no bank here, this is from Washington! I told you that! (??) Where I gonna get a statement, they in Washington! I ain't got no bank here! Why you tell me that, I can't get that!
Me: I'm sorry you came all the way down here, that's why I tell you on the phone before you drive down here, so you don't waste your time.
Darel: No you said it just had to be stamped by a local bank and it is, see? they faxed that. that's all I have and they ain't here, so how can I have it if it's in Washington? (huh??)
Me: repeats what I told him on the phone. He is shaking his head and starting to poke the papers on the counter HARD with each word. Please don't stand in front of me with a do rag on and pants hanging to your knees and be a jerk like this is going to bully me into doing what you want....
Darel: You told me on the phone and that's what I brung, now you change your story?
Me: (tiring of this old game of "I can talk circles and say nothing") I see here you have an overdraft. SO even if this was a local bank-and it certainly isn't-and even if this was a current statement-it certainly isn't, with an overdraft I am unable to write a loan for you.
Darel; Man are you serious, this is serious bullshit, you didn't say none a' this shit on the phone, now you changing you story? How'm I spose to do anything? You say I need a local bank well I ain't got one, this one in Washington, how that my fault, how I spose to know this when you change your story?
Me: Darel, it shows no recent activity on your account since December, and it ends with a negative balance.
Darel: See that's all they gave me that's all I got, how can I help that? That ain't my fault!
Me: Well what I would suggest is taking your paperwork to another company and see what they say, I'm sure someone else is not as picky as we are. This paperwork is simply not current and I need something not dated 2009, wherever it may come from. I'm sorry that I'm unable to help you with a loan at this time.
Darel: Company, what company? What other company, what you talking about, other company?
Me: Other loan companies.
Darel: I already have four other loans, you aren't helping me at all. This is some bullshit, man!
Me: Four other paycheck loans? Wow. I'm sorry, if you have that many I wouldn't be able to write you at all. That's way too many.
Darel: mumbling and cursing (making sure we could hear the CURSE part) as he saunters away from the counter.
Me: Perhaps you need to lay off the paycheck loans? That's way too many. DIG DIG.
Darel: mutters something that sounds suspiciously like he's telling a female dog to have intercourse with herself...
Then, another one of our customers who had been looking at the sunglasses said very loudly, "Or try getting a job!" I love it when one of our regular customers says something to a jerky person as they leave. It's so...satisfying.
Yes, Darel, it's all our fault, it's not your fault that you brought in old, outdated paperwork trying to get a loan and stick us with it since you obviously are not employed at that place any longer, nor do you really still have this bank account (if you ever did). I'm so sorry that sitting there and acting like a persecuted victim...gasp, you didn't TELL ME ALL THIS ON THE PHONE....didn't work this time. I know it works so well in all other walks of life. (eye roll)
Doctor Dingleberry Is Single! SURPRISE!
Well it didn't take him long, did it! Only two classes and he had to make sure this time to mention his 'evil' ex-wife a couple of times. NO wedding ring at all this time. Oh, yes, and in case we missed the 'evil' references, he mentioned several times how she had red eyes (haw haw! You so funny!)
He passed around a sheet of paper and asked us all to write our names, our email addresses, and our phone numbers. Now, he HAS access to all of us through our online class forum; it also includes a mass mailing option for students in his class as well as individual notifications. Why ask for our personal email addresses and phone numbers? Oh, I know, he'll have to call some of the teenagers for some reason or another. "Hey Amber, let's explore the reproductive system in some depth tonight, I'll give you extra credit!"
Another interesting thing I noticed; when speaking to students, he knows all the little teenagers by name. But the rest of us are "You", "Hey You", "You There", "You with the Brown Hair", "You with the Red Shirt". I don't recall any of us addressing him as, "You with the big ass and the midlife crisis!" but maybe the rest of us are just a little bit nicer than he is!
He passed around a sheet of paper and asked us all to write our names, our email addresses, and our phone numbers. Now, he HAS access to all of us through our online class forum; it also includes a mass mailing option for students in his class as well as individual notifications. Why ask for our personal email addresses and phone numbers? Oh, I know, he'll have to call some of the teenagers for some reason or another. "Hey Amber, let's explore the reproductive system in some depth tonight, I'll give you extra credit!"
Another interesting thing I noticed; when speaking to students, he knows all the little teenagers by name. But the rest of us are "You", "Hey You", "You There", "You with the Brown Hair", "You with the Red Shirt". I don't recall any of us addressing him as, "You with the big ass and the midlife crisis!" but maybe the rest of us are just a little bit nicer than he is!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Doctor Dingleberry and Financial Aid Leeches
So, I'm having to take an Anatomy class for school. Considering I'm *SO* past high school graduation, it's already giving me a headache just thinking about it. (When he passed out the Periodic Table copies, I almost got up and left.)
I'm 45 minutes late to my first lab class, but not on purpose. I thought it started at 45 minutes past the hour; it started at the top of the hour but ended at 2:45 p.m. so ... see...I had it partially right. (screaming to myself over and over, 'I am too old for this ____!") So as I enter the classroom and the instructor stops talking (so that everyone turns around to look at me...I had to check and make sure I wasn't standing there naked...), I try to find a seat. I can't see any extra seats (panic mode here, would they overbook the class?!?!?!) so I sit in the back where all the lab tables are. This is at least 30 feet from the dry erase board, I'm NO spring chicken, and I can't see smack at distances. I don't wear my glasses because first of all I usually only need them to see if that's a sheriff's car in the distance or if it's a Ford pickup (I keep getting them confused as they are identical blobby shapes in the distance). Secondly, the only shape of frames available in the magnetic sunglasses clip on was a Sarah-Palin-esque shape that looks great on her but makes me look like a skid-row Tina Fey. Understandably, the glasses stay in my car. I'm not accustomed to having to sit clear across the building to see class notes, as a rule.
Add in that the Amazon seller I bought my lab book from (I can't afford the highway robbery that is the bookstore!) couldn't be bothered to ship my book right away like he's supposed to, I also don't have my lab book. In essence, I'm feeling like the Queen of the Idiots and can feel my face burning. Maybe it was a hot flash.
The instructor is a doctor here locally and apparently he's kind of...attitudinal? He promises to email you back within 24 hours of your asking him a question; my email was three days ago asking what room the class was in and which building, since the syllabus says NOTHING about it, nor did it even mention that we had a lab that day. (I just kind of assumed we did, thank goodness.) I'm still waiting for a reply to that email by the way. Doc can't be bothered to reply to my questions, I guess he figures I can sink or swim without his gracious help. So I make it an hour in the far back of the room, and then Doctor Dickie announces a break. A nice girl says, "There's an empty chair right by me, after break do you want to sit by me? It's not fair for you to be clear in the back!" I thanked her and moved my stuff. Now why couldn't the instructor point out that there was ONE (yes one, the only one) seat left? Probably because he was too busy looking at the little teen hotties in their pajamas and sweats. (Does anyone under 30 even wear real clothes anywhere anymore? What's up with flip flops when it's snowing outside, seriously??) He looked at them like they were hiding Big Macs in their back pockets. I didn't know you could be so....large....and still do what he does. It's a very physical specialty, and frankly I don't know how he can perform his duties. It's a puzzler.
Do you watch "South Park"? If so you've heard the counselor who says 'Mmmkay....". This guy has the same habit, only it's a version of, "Kay?mmmmm" he'll point to something and describe it, then say as he's moving on, "Kay?mmmmmm" and makes a mouth movement. It's like he's talking to a room full of cattle and really has no expectation that they are understanding the words he's bestowing upon us.
After the break another student and I are discussing where to get cheap books; the nice girl who had me sit next to her breaks out her bookstore tab and casually says, "Oh I spent over $700 on books, wow! Oh well that's ok I don't have to pay for it, I have financial aid!" I had to pay over $700 just for the tuition for this anatomy class and a Biology review class I was forced to take at the same time! The books cost me another $250; they would have been twice that in the bookstore. I told her that and she asked, "Why don't you get financial aid?" I explained to her that we don't fall within the guidelines to get it and they don't have any special exemptions just because I graduated over 20 years ago. She didn't get it and repeated, "I don't understand why you just don't get financial aid." several times. (Clearly she has a lifetime of experience with handouts.) She was just la-di-da and kept saying, "I get financial aid!" every time the other student (also a grown up like me with a real life!) and I talked about costs. The girl behind me piped in how she too gets financial aid, and then she turns around and sells all her books to other students for a nice profit. [I'm not going to go into my theory about how EDUCATION should be free and we should have no welfare, right now.] But these folks are getting taxpayer dollars paying for their tuition and books and the $2 pencils they are using; they should be required to turn in the books they get on the taxpayers' dime and the books can be reprovisioned to other students on financial aid or in need. (I'm not saying me, there are folks worse off than I am by far!) Essentially taxpayers are buying books over and over. I might add all the books this girl had were new; I was in the bookstore a week after she was (going by the date on her ticket) and there were plenty of used books available for a discount. But her comments of, "I had ____ to spend!" explained everything. I'm not going to say anything about her whining that she had a full caseload of 12 hours on the one hand and then saying how she DOES NOT WORK. Try working and having that caseload, you crybaby! (She really was nice, but damn. Stop sucking off the teat, don't you have any pride??)
At the end of class, Doctor DirtyMan called up the tardy folks (and stood obviously looking down the shirt of a size-0 cheerleader-type who was first in line) and made sure we all saw him mark a big fat "T" by our names. ::Yawn:: I'm a mom, get over yourself! "T" this......kay????mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I'm 45 minutes late to my first lab class, but not on purpose. I thought it started at 45 minutes past the hour; it started at the top of the hour but ended at 2:45 p.m. so ... see...I had it partially right. (screaming to myself over and over, 'I am too old for this ____!") So as I enter the classroom and the instructor stops talking (so that everyone turns around to look at me...I had to check and make sure I wasn't standing there naked...), I try to find a seat. I can't see any extra seats (panic mode here, would they overbook the class?!?!?!) so I sit in the back where all the lab tables are. This is at least 30 feet from the dry erase board, I'm NO spring chicken, and I can't see smack at distances. I don't wear my glasses because first of all I usually only need them to see if that's a sheriff's car in the distance or if it's a Ford pickup (I keep getting them confused as they are identical blobby shapes in the distance). Secondly, the only shape of frames available in the magnetic sunglasses clip on was a Sarah-Palin-esque shape that looks great on her but makes me look like a skid-row Tina Fey. Understandably, the glasses stay in my car. I'm not accustomed to having to sit clear across the building to see class notes, as a rule.
Add in that the Amazon seller I bought my lab book from (I can't afford the highway robbery that is the bookstore!) couldn't be bothered to ship my book right away like he's supposed to, I also don't have my lab book. In essence, I'm feeling like the Queen of the Idiots and can feel my face burning. Maybe it was a hot flash.
The instructor is a doctor here locally and apparently he's kind of...attitudinal? He promises to email you back within 24 hours of your asking him a question; my email was three days ago asking what room the class was in and which building, since the syllabus says NOTHING about it, nor did it even mention that we had a lab that day. (I just kind of assumed we did, thank goodness.) I'm still waiting for a reply to that email by the way. Doc can't be bothered to reply to my questions, I guess he figures I can sink or swim without his gracious help. So I make it an hour in the far back of the room, and then Doctor Dickie announces a break. A nice girl says, "There's an empty chair right by me, after break do you want to sit by me? It's not fair for you to be clear in the back!" I thanked her and moved my stuff. Now why couldn't the instructor point out that there was ONE (yes one, the only one) seat left? Probably because he was too busy looking at the little teen hotties in their pajamas and sweats. (Does anyone under 30 even wear real clothes anywhere anymore? What's up with flip flops when it's snowing outside, seriously??) He looked at them like they were hiding Big Macs in their back pockets. I didn't know you could be so....large....and still do what he does. It's a very physical specialty, and frankly I don't know how he can perform his duties. It's a puzzler.
Do you watch "South Park"? If so you've heard the counselor who says 'Mmmkay....". This guy has the same habit, only it's a version of, "Kay?mmmmm" he'll point to something and describe it, then say as he's moving on, "Kay?mmmmmm" and makes a mouth movement. It's like he's talking to a room full of cattle and really has no expectation that they are understanding the words he's bestowing upon us.
After the break another student and I are discussing where to get cheap books; the nice girl who had me sit next to her breaks out her bookstore tab and casually says, "Oh I spent over $700 on books, wow! Oh well that's ok I don't have to pay for it, I have financial aid!" I had to pay over $700 just for the tuition for this anatomy class and a Biology review class I was forced to take at the same time! The books cost me another $250; they would have been twice that in the bookstore. I told her that and she asked, "Why don't you get financial aid?" I explained to her that we don't fall within the guidelines to get it and they don't have any special exemptions just because I graduated over 20 years ago. She didn't get it and repeated, "I don't understand why you just don't get financial aid." several times. (Clearly she has a lifetime of experience with handouts.) She was just la-di-da and kept saying, "I get financial aid!" every time the other student (also a grown up like me with a real life!) and I talked about costs. The girl behind me piped in how she too gets financial aid, and then she turns around and sells all her books to other students for a nice profit. [I'm not going to go into my theory about how EDUCATION should be free and we should have no welfare, right now.] But these folks are getting taxpayer dollars paying for their tuition and books and the $2 pencils they are using; they should be required to turn in the books they get on the taxpayers' dime and the books can be reprovisioned to other students on financial aid or in need. (I'm not saying me, there are folks worse off than I am by far!) Essentially taxpayers are buying books over and over. I might add all the books this girl had were new; I was in the bookstore a week after she was (going by the date on her ticket) and there were plenty of used books available for a discount. But her comments of, "I had ____ to spend!" explained everything. I'm not going to say anything about her whining that she had a full caseload of 12 hours on the one hand and then saying how she DOES NOT WORK. Try working and having that caseload, you crybaby! (She really was nice, but damn. Stop sucking off the teat, don't you have any pride??)
At the end of class, Doctor DirtyMan called up the tardy folks (and stood obviously looking down the shirt of a size-0 cheerleader-type who was first in line) and made sure we all saw him mark a big fat "T" by our names. ::Yawn:: I'm a mom, get over yourself! "T" this......kay????mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Stupid Customer Tricks
*Guy calls up and asks, what are your loan qualifications? I read them to him and he says, "Repeat the job stuff?" I do and ask him if he meets the qualifications. He BURPS LOUDLY in my ear and then says, "I ain't been there that long but I been there awhile". Uh-huh.
*Loser 17 year old kid who gets $1600 a month in social security came in to cash his check, wearing a hoodie with a giant marijuana leaf that says "I fund international terrorism". He's a little dildohead anyway, he's rude to his family and he's occasionally rude to us when we won't let him sell something (he's not old enough) or we don't give him a free movie when he claims he bought one but we didn't put it in the bag. He had his grandma buy him an electronic gram scale today. I just had to tell him how unemployable his hoodie made him look and that perhaps if he's going to use the scale (drugs, anyone?) he shouldn't advertise his occupation with a giant green marijuana-leaf hoodie. What a winner.
*Guy has an out of state ID that expired last year; I've personally told him twice now that he can't get any more loans without an ID for the state in which he resides, or at least bring me a valid one. Today he again tried to get a loan, and I asked him if he had his valid ID yet? "Nah, nah but I'm in your computer." I said yes you are in our computer as having an expired Nevada driver's license, I need a valid one for THIS state. "Yeah I'll get it. I just need a loan today." I told him said that several times now and I'll need that new ID before we can proceed. He pulled out a Department of Corrections card that was so faded you could barely see it, but I could clearly see "Inmate" on it. I told him I couldn't use that either, because it was expired. "How you know that?" I said...if you were still an inmate you wouldn't be here, would you? If this were a cartoon, a big anvil would drop on his head.
*A lady came in with her husband and was just a pain in the ass. She actually snapped her fingers at me when I wasn't rushing to get a piece of jewelry out of the case fast enough; apparently her husband was about to see her trying it on. Then she tried on a ring and said, "That's nice. Let me see that one over there." I assumed that meant she didn't want it, so I put it back. "What are you doing? I want that!" Well sorry lady, since I quit the Psychic Friends Network my mindreading isn't what it once was. Then she picked a ring and when I told the husband their total (for all the other stuff they bought) he almost went postal on me. "WHAT? WHAT?" I turned the screen around so he could see it all. He turned to his wife, "Woman, you gonna make me broke!" and then insisted that ring come off the ticket NOW. Problem is wifey was wearing the ring and admiring it and didn't want to give it up. It wasn't pretty. She called back later wanting me to hold it for her. (I already held it, lady, and then I had to find the tag and put it back on.) I told her it would be in the case whenever she comes in.
*I love it when someone brings in a ton of DVDs or CD's and they insist, THEY ARE ALL THERE. As you are handing them empty case after empty case they don't even have the decency to shut their mouths, "What's wrong with that one? It's not in there???" Or it's so scratched up we can't take it. "That's brand new!" Brand new is unopened. (and watch their face when you say that.)
*"I have a lot of traffic tickets, can I get a gun?" No felony, you are ok. "Well in this state if you have three misdemeanors they count as a felony. So can I get a gun?" Please call a lawyer for advice..."Can't you just tell me?" (sigh). Or better yet, "I was driving with my sister and she had pot in her car but I got a ticket for possession even though it wasn't mine. Can I still buy a gun?" "I got into a fight with my old lady and she called the cops on me, SHE hit ME but I still got arrested but I didn't do it. Can I still buy a gun?" No, no you may not. Go buy a vasectomy.
*Man comes in and says wife needs an operation but the doctor wouldn't do it when he found out they didn't have insurance. "Money money money that's all they care about!" I asked him, would you work for free? He said, "F---, I'm on unemployment!" I asked him why they didn't go get medicaid (which he'd qualify for if they were as broke as he says) and his answer was that the state won't give him medical assistance...as he's handing over a very new laptop to get a loan on.
*A kid whose mom is on HUD and welfare (plus gets social security checks for her kids AND child support checks) came to buy a game for his Xbox360. He said, "You need to make this cheaper so I can buy it!" I told him maybe getting a paper route or mowing lawns would help him afford it. He looked at me like I'd asked him to explain quantum physics in Latin.
*Loser 17 year old kid who gets $1600 a month in social security came in to cash his check, wearing a hoodie with a giant marijuana leaf that says "I fund international terrorism". He's a little dildohead anyway, he's rude to his family and he's occasionally rude to us when we won't let him sell something (he's not old enough) or we don't give him a free movie when he claims he bought one but we didn't put it in the bag. He had his grandma buy him an electronic gram scale today. I just had to tell him how unemployable his hoodie made him look and that perhaps if he's going to use the scale (drugs, anyone?) he shouldn't advertise his occupation with a giant green marijuana-leaf hoodie. What a winner.
*Guy has an out of state ID that expired last year; I've personally told him twice now that he can't get any more loans without an ID for the state in which he resides, or at least bring me a valid one. Today he again tried to get a loan, and I asked him if he had his valid ID yet? "Nah, nah but I'm in your computer." I said yes you are in our computer as having an expired Nevada driver's license, I need a valid one for THIS state. "Yeah I'll get it. I just need a loan today." I told him said that several times now and I'll need that new ID before we can proceed. He pulled out a Department of Corrections card that was so faded you could barely see it, but I could clearly see "Inmate" on it. I told him I couldn't use that either, because it was expired. "How you know that?" I said...if you were still an inmate you wouldn't be here, would you? If this were a cartoon, a big anvil would drop on his head.
*A lady came in with her husband and was just a pain in the ass. She actually snapped her fingers at me when I wasn't rushing to get a piece of jewelry out of the case fast enough; apparently her husband was about to see her trying it on. Then she tried on a ring and said, "That's nice. Let me see that one over there." I assumed that meant she didn't want it, so I put it back. "What are you doing? I want that!" Well sorry lady, since I quit the Psychic Friends Network my mindreading isn't what it once was. Then she picked a ring and when I told the husband their total (for all the other stuff they bought) he almost went postal on me. "WHAT? WHAT?" I turned the screen around so he could see it all. He turned to his wife, "Woman, you gonna make me broke!" and then insisted that ring come off the ticket NOW. Problem is wifey was wearing the ring and admiring it and didn't want to give it up. It wasn't pretty. She called back later wanting me to hold it for her. (I already held it, lady, and then I had to find the tag and put it back on.) I told her it would be in the case whenever she comes in.
*I love it when someone brings in a ton of DVDs or CD's and they insist, THEY ARE ALL THERE. As you are handing them empty case after empty case they don't even have the decency to shut their mouths, "What's wrong with that one? It's not in there???" Or it's so scratched up we can't take it. "That's brand new!" Brand new is unopened. (and watch their face when you say that.)
*"I have a lot of traffic tickets, can I get a gun?" No felony, you are ok. "Well in this state if you have three misdemeanors they count as a felony. So can I get a gun?" Please call a lawyer for advice..."Can't you just tell me?" (sigh). Or better yet, "I was driving with my sister and she had pot in her car but I got a ticket for possession even though it wasn't mine. Can I still buy a gun?" "I got into a fight with my old lady and she called the cops on me, SHE hit ME but I still got arrested but I didn't do it. Can I still buy a gun?" No, no you may not. Go buy a vasectomy.
*Man comes in and says wife needs an operation but the doctor wouldn't do it when he found out they didn't have insurance. "Money money money that's all they care about!" I asked him, would you work for free? He said, "F---, I'm on unemployment!" I asked him why they didn't go get medicaid (which he'd qualify for if they were as broke as he says) and his answer was that the state won't give him medical assistance...as he's handing over a very new laptop to get a loan on.
*A kid whose mom is on HUD and welfare (plus gets social security checks for her kids AND child support checks) came to buy a game for his Xbox360. He said, "You need to make this cheaper so I can buy it!" I told him maybe getting a paper route or mowing lawns would help him afford it. He looked at me like I'd asked him to explain quantum physics in Latin.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
White Trash Kid Names
A regular customer came in and showed me her new tattoo; it said, "LOKI" on it. I thought oh ok, she's into 'that stuff'' so she felt compelled to put it on her body, I'm down with that. Then she talked about how her baby daddy had one too. She kept going on and on about "LOKI" until I realized...OMG....they named their KID that. What do you say? Not only did they saddle their kid with that ridiculous name but they emblazoned it upon their bodies for the world to see.
If they had just taken the money they spent on tattoos and invested in sterilization! Mostly for him, as he seems to have chirrun everywhere. I thought she was babysitting the neighbor kids once when she came in with a crowd of kids; no, these were her kids and his kids combined. So that's where my tax money goes.......
If they had just taken the money they spent on tattoos and invested in sterilization! Mostly for him, as he seems to have chirrun everywhere. I thought she was babysitting the neighbor kids once when she came in with a crowd of kids; no, these were her kids and his kids combined. So that's where my tax money goes.......
Nurse Nasty
We have another 'interesting' customer; or rather we DID have until I pissed her off. She is a nurse at a disreputable nursing home in a nearby town. In fact she is in charge of hiring the peons there; they have paid her the same wage for FIVE YEARS and it's way less than other nurses make there. By the way, this is the same disreputable nursing home that Crazy Biatch works for. Nurse Nasty had been a loan customer of ours off and on for a few years; it had been two years since we'd last seen her and when she came in again for another loan, naturally I asked her for a recent bank statement and paycheck stub. (you know, these things can change in the course of two years.) During her many years of loans, she demonstrated that she thinks she is better than most folks, she is very condescending, and just has an attitude of being superior to the dreg of society that is waiting on her. One of my family members worked with her at the disreputable nursing home (for a short time, they did not want to lose their license over the illegal conditions there) and said that Nurse Nasty treats ALL people as if they are beneath her. So many times I wanted to say to her, you can't be all that and a bag of chips if you are having to write paycheck loans to several loan companies around town every two weeks, but that wouldn't be very nice.
Nurse Nasty, when asked for the new documents to prove she still has a job and still has an open bank account to back up the check she wanted to write, refused to provide either of these things. "I have been a LONG TIME customer here, I shouldn't have to provide this over and over!" I told her that if she had been a regular customer, there wouldn't be a two-year gap in her file that required documentation. She said snottily, and nastily, "I don't have a bank statement with me, sorry. You'll have to take my word for it this time!" Um, no, nasty person, I don't. I didn't. She became even nastier and snarled, "I won't do business with you ever again!" and stomped out. I spent the next week crying uncontrollably in the darkness of my closet because she wasn't going to come back.....
I do hope she comes back so I can tell her that Crazy Biatch gets $7 more an hour than she does.
Nurse Nasty, when asked for the new documents to prove she still has a job and still has an open bank account to back up the check she wanted to write, refused to provide either of these things. "I have been a LONG TIME customer here, I shouldn't have to provide this over and over!" I told her that if she had been a regular customer, there wouldn't be a two-year gap in her file that required documentation. She said snottily, and nastily, "I don't have a bank statement with me, sorry. You'll have to take my word for it this time!" Um, no, nasty person, I don't. I didn't. She became even nastier and snarled, "I won't do business with you ever again!" and stomped out. I spent the next week crying uncontrollably in the darkness of my closet because she wasn't going to come back.....
I do hope she comes back so I can tell her that Crazy Biatch gets $7 more an hour than she does.
More Crazy Biatch
Crazy Biatch called at three minutes until closing; she wanted to come in and pay her loan but she was on the overpass and was going to be a 'little late', could we hold the door for her? The overpass is so far from where we are, it would be fifteen minutes or more past closing before she'd get there and we don't do that. So, I told her, that's ok you can come tomorrow, we'll hold your loan for you. "But I won't have this money tomorrow!!!" she whined. Well damn...? Don't go spend it, you crazy idiot! Problem solved! I told her no, don't worry about it today, we'll be open in the morning and we'll hold this for you. At seven minutes past closing I hear this banging on our door; another customer had gotten into the shop right before we locked the door so I'm standing there processing his loan, so Crazy Biatch (who had come over anyway even after I told her we would be closed!!) stood there banging on the door. I yelled at another employee that 'his' customer was at the door, and I refused to wait on her. She kept giving me these smug little faces as she stood there paying her loan; I saw her out of the corner of my eye; she'd look over at me with eyes like little slits and a smug little thin-lipped sneer on her face. Since it was attention she sought, I ignored her as I over-pleasantly helped the male customer and then picked up my stuff to leave. As I was walking around the counter I swung way wide of Crazy Biatch and went down one of the aisles so I could get to the door without coming anywhere near her (which she considers an invite to talk to you...). No, alas! Not content to merely try to shoot face-daggers my way, she starts telling me not to go this way or that way down this street or that street because of [insert various traffic abnormalities]. I smiled at her and said disdainfully, "Oh no I don't live over there" and gave a pretend-shudder of horror and disgust. (She lives over in that area). She reared back her head as if slapped, and her cake hole slammed shut. I smiled all the way home at the look on her face! Ah, Crazy Biatch, I love you.
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