Cat Pee Lady

We have a customer who comes in every month to pay a pile of bills. She is a really NICE lady, but my gawd, does she smell! She smells like cat pee, and her breath smells like she's eating out of the litter box. So, when she stands there chatting and laughing, you get a nice whiff! She also has some quirks about her money; she alternates between not wanting to let you have any of her pennies/quarters, to digging out ONLY pennies or ONLY quarters. You never know what the deal is until you have to collect change, and then it just gets annoying.

She came in awhile back and was very upset; insisting, "I have a BONE to pick with you!" She handed me a stack of unruly receipts, and said angrily, "You have been giving me receipts in SPANISH! I want ENGLISH! I don't SPEAK SPANISH!" Puzzled, I was alarmed that maybe somehow our program was messed up, and secretly wondering how NONE of us had caught the fact that our receipts were printing in Spanish. Then I looked at them and saw that every iine of the receipt was printed twice: once in English (ON TOP!) and once in Spanish. I pointed out to her where there was indeed English on the receipts. She looked only mildly embarrassed. Then she complained that we had not been putting the right account number on there, 'LOOK! they are little stars, not my account!" I had to explain to her that the receipts truncate the numbers so that someone can't get her entire account number.

I assured her that everything was fine. She still seemed a little dubious so I asked her if at any time had she had her service turned off for non-payment? She said no, and I told her that meant everything was fine.

She also today explained the origin of her stench: she rescued some stray cats and they live in her house, and they sleep on her. I'm not sure if that's *ALL* they are doing on her, but at least I'm not imagining the cat pee smell!