Lick it, lick it good! And Boobie Money

I used to think the nastiest thing ever was being handed hot, wet, sweaty money out of bras. Wadded, cramped, damp, stinky money that's been nestled between or under sagging hot titties for....how long...?? Unwashed sagging titties on top of that. I decided some time ago that I will not take it if it's wet and sweaty, there surely has to be some kind of disease one could get from it? I'm sorry ladies, but damn. Get a purse! Put it in your pocket! Don't saturate it with your bodily fluids and then expect me to TOUCH IT! (If it comes out of a waistband, FORGET IT!)
But today, today was a new low in gross. Until today, my SECOND most repulsive pet peeve was watching someone lick or suck their fingers to get their rings off. Then they'd hand it to me, still wet, expecting me to take it in my bare hands like swapping spit with them was something we do together on a regular basis. They would never ask for lotion until AFTER they'd slobbered all over their jewelry, yet it was no big deal to them that the jewelry they were trying to hand me was saturated with DNA. Would you hand someone a ring dipped in snot, or semen, or vomit? Why would one dripping with spit be any better? Today I actually told a lady who was slobbering on her ring in an attempt to get it off: here's some hand sanitizer, use that. She refused, "I almost have it off!" I told her we don't take jewelry that has saliva all over it, so just use the hand sanitizr when you are done. (Then I handed her some Purell out of my purse). She looked at me like I was really being unrealistic in my expectations but I swear to you here and now: if she had not put sanitizer on it, I would not have touched it. If you knew this lady you would be fearful of catching some latent STD from the slobber, she's that gross. Sorry lady. Ew.
Also high on the list of Ick Factor: women who bring in earrings that they have not cleaned off. Almost unbearable to me are the ones that pull them straight out of their ears and hand them to me. I have to look at them under extreme magnification to see what the karat marking is, if they are real, etc. There, on the post, without fail, smegma-like crusty deposits from being inside their ears! Can you NOT clean your jewelry, PLEASE?? I have to get that jewelry right up by my nose to see it under the magnifier, and all that gunky crust makes me just want to heave.
Don't be nasty! I don't want your bodily excretions!!!!!!!!!!

Stop Staring at my Tits!

Men, when busted staring at a woman's breasts, please don't try to recover by acting like you are trying to read any logo that may be on her shirt. You were staring, you are busted, please just shut the hell up now. NOTHING you say can convince me you really like the logo on my shirt. I deliberately don't wear 'cute sayings' because I learned the hard way that it makes the drunks stare harder. No amount of, "Oh cool I like your Ralph Lauren logo" is going to cover your ass so please just shut up.
I wore a sweater that was admittedly more body-conscious than I am comfortable with, I just didn't know it fit like that. My chest is very large anyway so I try to hide that by wearing mostly loose fitting tops, and I never unbutton anything if it has buttons. I didn't realize it fit more snugly than normal until I started to catch eyes on my boobs, a lot....a few times here and there, yeah. I also had on a bra that let them jiggle a little (how did I end up with that one?? AT WORK??) We have our share of boob-starers, guys with no social skills who can't help but stare and don't even wait until you look away to glue their peepers back on the ta-tas. But come on, seriously, did no one teach you manners?
One of my least-favorite customers came in and kept staring in an obvious way. Not just looking and then averting but flat-out staring. Openly. It was really pissing me off, I could almost see the film going on in his head and then I needed brain-bleach! I finally told him, "Stop staring at my tits!" in a loud voice, he jerked his eyes away and his face turned red, and he had the balls to DENY IT! "wh--wh---no, no, I wasn't...." I was so disgusted at him by this time I just gave him his loan and walked away. Thankfully, he left immediately. I didn't have to hear his bullsh*t stories about how strippers everywhere want his nasty ass! WHEW!

Kobie Couple Parenting Award!

Do you know anyone who would buy their 4 year old child, the game "Grand Theft Auto" of any version? (you know, the one where you can kill the prostitute and get your money back......)
Sadly, I do. Kobie Couple bought this for their future-serial-killer child two years ago, and as spoiled children often do, he's scratched it (and his other games/movies) many times. They bring it in for us to fix, one of us fixes it, and then Little Jeffrey Dahmer gets to slash prostitutes until the next time it's too scratched to play.
Every time I give it back to them, I pray that this time was the last straw for that disk...........

I Hate Target!

I transferred a prescription to a newer Target store here. I'd never used Target before, but I had been filling this prescription for years--at different pharmacies here and there along the way---with zero problems. Until Target got ahold of it.
These pills cost $20 each, and I pay the same co-pay regardless of how many I get at one time. My prescription has been for ten pills for years, years, and years. I fill this prescription perhaps three times a year (if that). Did I mention years?? So imagine my surprise when I picked up my prescription at Target and I pay my usual co-pay but there are only six pills in the package. Naturally I was a little concerned.
So, I waited in line and asked the clerk to recheck my bag, that I was supposed to have ten of these pills and not six. These are not even narcotics or anything that is sold on the street, so it's not as if there is a reason I would bring back six of them while taking ten. At first the clerk acted as though this is what I did, but then saw that the package said six pills. (No apology for her assumption either). So I told her that my prescription is for ten pills not six, and she went back to talk to the pharmacist.
This was on a busy day, there were many customers waiting in line, but the pharmacist (a woman in her late 30's perhaps, with long curly dark hair) yells at me from where she's counting pills, "That's what your doctor's office called in!" I told her that no I had not had my doctor's office call it in, I had transferred it from another pharmacy. She insisted that no I had not, six pills is what my doctor's office told her, and that's the way it was going to be. I told her that no, this is not correct, I've been filling this for years and at many places with zero problems and it's always been ten tablets, I also told her that since I had three refills left when I transferred it, my doctor's office did not call it in. I also transferred this to Target while I was standing INSIDE the Walgreens store where my prescription was, so it was not called in from the doctor. She insisted, loudly and repeatedly, that I was WRONG and this is what my DOCTOR'S OFFICE told her. So I said ok, who did you talk to at my doctor's office? At this, she took great exception, how dare anyone question her! She became very loud, she was not about to budge from where she was standing clear back behind the wall but she ratcheted up the volume of her voice so that she could surely be heard half way across the store! I should blame my doctor's office, this was not their mistake, she was not going to take the pills back and fill it for a higher amount since I already took the prescription away from the counter, etc. I told her that was not acceptable and to please not yell at me (whatever happened to customer privacy??) and she just seemed to become more incensed. I finally had to tell her, please don't argue with me or yell at me in front of other customers, that is very rude. She kept on insisting that this was not her mistake and by this point I was just stunned by her utter rudeness, and told her how unacceptable I found it that she'd argue with a customer, and especially to argue with one in front of many other people and to speak so loudly that I had no hope of privacy. She kept glaring at me, then talked to the clerk in a voice low enough that I couldn't exactly tell WHAT she was saying but she was very angry. I asked the clerk to please refund my prescription so I could have it filled correctly somewhere else; the clerk hesitated and looked at the pharmacist then back at me, and she finally gave me my money back. She was very cold, chilly in her demeanor and I suspect they made a voodoo doll with my face on it after work.
The kicker? I had another pharmacy fill the prescription the next day, but I could not pick it up because my insurance showed that Target had filled it the day before. I told my insurance that Target was committing fraud by getting paid for something that they still had! Still, I was unable to fill my prescription until 21 days had elapsed since they still showed that Target had filed a claim. How fraudulent! I went online to Target's web site and filed a complaint about the unprofessional pharmacist but didn't get a call from anyone associated with Target. I did ask that they check their stock of narcotics to see if maybe she wasn't dipping into them, she totally acted like one of my crazy-ass customers!

Wedding Day Fun

We went to a wedding today, at a church of a faith that is different from ours. I believe today is the last day we attend any function (funeral or wedding) at a church of this denomination. I've had enough.
For an hour you essentially listen to how much you suck. It has nothing to do with the funeral or wedding you are attending, they want to get their propaganda in about how unworthy and crappy you are. Then they invite...MEMBERS OF THEIR FAITH ONLY....to partake in the Eucharist. It doesn't matter if in everything else you believe in the same God or Christ or anything of that nature, if you are not of their faith you cannot break bread with them because you are not worthy. So even Billy Graham could not hope to partake as he is not a member of their faith. This doesn't happen in our faith, if you are a believer you are welcome to partake. After a few of these experiences I was prepared today! Screw that self-righteous chanting man, I brought a pack of mints. As the priest was saying that only members of the Churcholics could partake of the Host, I leaned over with the IceBreakers and asked my husband if he'd like some minty fresh body of Christ? No stale unleavened bread for us! No wonder most folks I know who grew up in this denomination either hate church or refuse to go to church at all. (Though I had to stifle laughter as the priest and altar boy practically pirouetted, it looked like a ballet!)

More Painful Sears....

A few months ago we bought new appliances for our house. Before we purchased them I had to go have appliance foreplay at the store, looking and touching and feeling every one to make sure I picked the right ones. Simply sitting at home and reading about them is NOT the same as seeing them in person! A woman named Donna helped us, she spent an hour with us (not by my choice, really, she was afraid someone would poach the sale) so I took her card before we left. Two months later we were ready to buy and I made a point to come in when she was working (even to the point that it was a day and time that was not convenient for us) so that she could get credit for the sale. That was many months ago. So the other day I returned to this same store (the same day I spent over an hour getting a refund), she was on me like a chicken with a bug when I went to look at vacuums. I wanted a certain price on a certain vacuum and they didn't have it, she pushed for the sale anyway but I wasn't ready (I was expecting a rewards gift card that would make the vacuum almost free and it had not arrived yet). They had advertised a certain price (an unheard of price) on the vacuum I wanted but I didn't bring the ad with me and Donna expressed that she had not seen that ad and could not honor that price without an ad as proof (don't you keep one at your desk??). She kept pushing and pushing, clearly not listening to her customer say that she was not interested in paying full price, so I walked away. She made sure to give me her card and told me to come in when she was working; well sorry we did that for thousands of dollars' worth of appliances, and I'm pretty fed up with Sears right now, especially when you sold me a floor model with no further discount than the sale price and it was delivered with a crack in the front that was not there the day I bought it. The card arrived the other day so I went to Sears to get the vacuum (that had also gone on sale again). A younger man helped me, I was glad to let him make the sale and not Vulture, but when it came time to ring me up he couldn't figure out how to apply my rewards (that would have made the $500 vacuum $2.00 after my gift card and discounts). Donna came over and told me that yes she could *see* my rewards sitting on my card but she had no way of applying them to my purchase. But she'd sure be glad to use my rewards card to get me points for FUTURE purchases, yes indeed! So hey customer, I can see that you have money on your rewards card but you can't use it! She even said at one point, "We've been having problems with our computers today, I know it's hard to believe but it happens". Trust me lady, after all I've been through at Sears lately, you don't have to tell ME about problems! I'm amazed half you folks can even make it to work in the morning at this rate!

"Are you finding everything? I don't really care...."

Went to a big box home improvement store. I could not match some paint colors to anything in their store. Three employees asked me at different times, "Are you finding everything?" When I said no, they smiled and walked away as if I said yes. One employee asked me a total of three times herself, if I was finding everything? I told her every time, "No..." and she would walk away. I'm still puzzled why they asked me.

Backpay Bonus

I've seen many people coming in lately who've gotten backpay (disability) windfalls upwards of $20k. But do they put it in the bank? No........... They buy new trucks! BIG trucks. Mostly RED trucks. Ford trucks. Dodge trucks. Big mo-fo' hood-cruising trucks. Seriously? You couldn't find a better use for that money than to buy a TRUCK? (Oh wait) Silly me, they need something to haul their new big screen TV's home with!

Bugs' Life

I just realized today, that if we stopped taking everything that showed a hint of roach infestation, we'd soon lose 90% of our business. Or so it seems.

Are you Searious?

(Apologies in advance, I wrote this in paragraph form but Blogspot will not show paragraph breaks no matter how I try) For the first time ever, I bought something online from Sears. The price was unbelievable so I risked it. The problem was, they didn't have any pictures of the items but they had all the color options listed. I knew I could return what I didn't want, and I really wasn't sure what the color 'mineral' was, so I just ordered one of every color and figured I had a 50/50 shot of liking them. An email arrived telling me that I had to print it out and take it to my pickup; the problem was though, that Yahoo would *not* let me print the email in its entirety, so I had to resort to just printing from my toolbar. (Yes I tried everything to make it print through Yahoo, no dice). Unfortunately they also assigned me a pickup location that is far from anywhere I live or work, that was the only Sears carrying these particular items. Great! So on the day of pickup, I take my email in and scan it in the kiosk like the signs direct me to do. Won't scan, because duh the email printed out a tiny portion of the email but it sure got ALL OF THE ADVERTISEMENTS in my yahoo account! My email printout in fact, only showed about half the invoice. The kiosk directed me to scan the credit card I used at checkout, THIS worked. Right away my name popped up on a giant TV overhead. Right away, I saw the list of other people who had picked up before me. (Remind me to use a fake name or something next time I check out, that is just flat-out creepy!) So while I'm waiting and waiting and waiting, I see a sign that says they'll give me a $5 coupon if they don't assist me within five minutes. Great! So at almost 8 minutes, a guy comes out and stops the timer on the kiosk, and out pops a coupon. I was pleased to see that it had so many restrictions on what I cannot use it for, that it needed to go straight into the garbage! This should have been a clue for me about how my Sears experience was going to unfold. About 15 more minutes later, after giving me my coupon and going to find my order, "Louis" returns with only 6 of my items. Two are missing. (And most are ugly, I can see right away.) He acted as though he fetched what I needed and we were done; but I was still short some items. He said he couldn't find anything else but let him check. Twenty more minutes go by and he comes back up; "I can't find anything else, I'm sorry". And he just stood there like I'm supposed to leave. I told him I can't leave without my items or him doing something about them missing, I paid for them and if I just walk out the door right now, it will be as if my order was completed and I'll be out of luck. He just ...stood there. He said again, "I'm sorry but I can't find them anywhere". I asked him, so what are we going to do about that? He scratched his head, rubbed his chin, and said he didn't really know, he wasn't sure. OK then, don't just stand there, GO DO SOMETHING, get someone who has an idea of what they are doing! I told him, I can't leave without some kind of resolution to this. He asked, "Can you wait a little bit?" I said I can wait a few minutes. (It had already been there about 45 minutes, this was getting old in a real hurry!) Almost 20 more minutes passed, I was about to the point of calling Customer Service from right there in the pickup area, trying hard not to pitch a fit because clearly this guy was not from the high end of the hiring pool. (Yet getting very annoyed that I had to deal with him anyway!) FINALLY Louis came out with my two items; I assume that faced with having to find the items vs. actually figuring out what to do about his inability to find them, he chose the former. Good man. I took my stuff and went home. When I got home with the items, I could see right away that four of them were hideous and had to go back, so I bagged them up and set them aside. Today I went to a different Sears to return them since, "RETURNS ARE FAST AND EASY!" Who are they freaking kidding? I went to the counter and a teenager named "Jesus" (yes, the irony is not lost on me) reluctantly stopped talking to his buddies long enough to help me. I did not bring my email receipt because it was useless to pick up the items, to think it could be useful to return them was just asking for a letdown. The order information was on two of the four items in the form of a Sears.com sticker, so it should have been easy for him to look it up. Let us remember though, that there is a reason Kmart and Sears are not top-rated retailers! Jesus could not figure out how to process the return; he asked for the credit card I used to buy the items and I brought out my card. "No this doesn't pull up anything". I pointed out the order number right on the packages, he ignored me. He asked for my driver's license; and then the computer beeped, and he handed me a receipt with a phone number that said "REFUND DENIED". An older guy stepped over and told me to call the number on the reciept and give them the code so they could tell me why. It may sound like all this happened pretty quickly but I must say that by the time I got the 'refund denied' slip, I had already been standing at that counter for almost 20 minutes and I was getting pretty damned pissed off. The older guy pointed me to their customer service phone so I went to call the number. The customer service rep took her time asking me 1,000 questions about who I was and then she said, "Oh, the reason you were denied is because your driver's license number is not valid!" Rather than scream, "WHAT THE ____" at her, I asked in a psuedo-calm voice, "What do you have for my number?" Apparently Jesus was in such a hurry to get rid of me so he could go back to socializing, that he left out a number when he typed in my driver's license. I thanked her and hung up and went back to the counter. Again, poor Jesus had to drag his lazy ass away from his other teen buddies, and he reluctantly returned to the counter where I was standing. I tried to stay calm, really I did, but this little dragass was really making me mad. Why should customers be punished because Sears can't hire decent people? They apparently have no problem with the QUANTITY they hire, since Jesus and four other teen-ish guys were standing around talking! So I said as NICELY as I could, "They said you entered in my driver's license incorrectly, and that's why I was denied a refund." He stood there staring at me like I was about to throw a bucket of bananas at him! He took my driver's license and started all over again, and the older guy who was there earlier stood by and watched. Jesus either has ADD fingers or he is just too lazy to do his job right, maybe both, because he kept typing so fast and sloppily that the computer would not take my information. At this point I had been in the store for well over half an hour, half an hour that was being wasted because of incompetent jerk employees! Sure YOU get paid by the hour but I actuallly have stuff to do and places to be! Alas, finally Jesus had a little mini-fit and stepped aside and told the older guy to do it, he couldn't. And then he went back to talking to his buddies. I should have just terminated our transaction right then, right there. But no. Enter Comedian Cal. Comedian Cal couldn't find any way whatsoever to get my transaction through. He pulled up my name and he even SHOWED me the screen full of transactions I have done at Sears; but he just couldn't manage to find the one I did two weeks ago. I think it was too overwhelming. He even said, "I don't think this is going to work with a Texas driver's license"..what?!?! My driver's license is the same state you are standing in, you f----g idiot! I said as much (Leaving out the 'idiot' part) but he just kind of let it go past. I'll cut out a lot of the details since I stood at that counter ANOTHER 45 MINUTES but at one point, he was on hold on the phone. Jesus handed Cal an Angry Birds toy that made a lot of noise. It was a sound that pissed me off even more since I had been standing there enduring their idiocy for so long! I commented about how ANNOYING that sound was.. and then! THEN! Cal takes the toy and SHAKES IT a few inches from my face, back and forth like he thinks he's in a children's cancer ward trying to cheer up the kiddies! What planet is this simpleton FROM?!?!?! He is so lucky that I didn't punch him RIGHT in the face, I was about BOILING mad at this point. ... about fifteen or twenty MORE minutes past this point, Cal is telling me what the order number is, 'for my reference", since he got it from the customer service center call. I pointed out to him that it was right on the packaging and that I had pointed that out over an hour ago, he just kept on writing. And then he said he would give me a gift card; I said I did not want a gift card, I wanted it back on the card I used. He called his manager over and they both said, "We can't give you cash, sorry." I said, I DO NOT WANT CASH, I do not want a gift card, I want this to go back on my card! I do not want a gift card, I cannot use a gift card! I told both of them, just forget it, I will go home and print out the email best i can and I'll come back tomorrow. Well, the Retail Rapists just ignored my "NO" and next thing I know, Cal is handing me a gift card and the receipt for the return. I said no, I didn't want a gift card, I will just come back tomorrow. He said...(I wanted to shoot myself by now), "I don't work tomorrow!" That's it. I was SO disgusted, SO ready to do the world a favor and wipe him and his buddies off the face of the earth right where they stood, I took the gift card and left. I also found out that Cal didn't refund me all I'm due (I paid sales tax you incompetent asshole!!) so I still have to go back to Sears. At this point I think I would rather stab needles in my eyes, or sniff my customers' armpits! Is it possible for one company to have so many dumb, lazy, shiftless, uninspired, and uncaring people working for them? (Other than government?) I almost want to get a job there so I can get into management and fire them one by one. [EDIT: He didn't credit me sales tax, but it worked out as I discovered later that I actually paid $1.00 less per item than he had refunded me. Don't have to go back to Moron Hell!]

"Is This Movie Any Good?"

Usually this question is asked when the customer is buying movies loaded with pee pee, poo poo, dick jokes, vomiting, tits/ass, etc. When they ask that, you can't say, "No sorry, I can't force myself to dumb down enough to tolerate that juvenile crap!" You can't say, "Who would waste ten cents and ten minutes on that?" You can't say, you'd be better off spending the two hours of this film actually doing something productive, like spending time with your kids or job hunting, or bathing. No, you can't say those things. So I'm forced to say, regretfully, as though I am so sad to see this copy of the movie go out the door because I myself wanted to buy it, "Darnit I just haven't ever seen this one!" And then stop there. Cut off the part where you say, "I want to keep all my brain cells"......

Social Terrorist Tip #52

If you are an habitual jerkoff, pay cash. Don't get loans, don't use your debit or credit card to pay for things, don't in ANY way act like you are Asshole of the Year and then present any kind of instrument of identification to the employees you are treating like crap. Especially if you sit your loser ass on social networking sites and use your real name. With your real picture. With an open profile. And lots of personal information out there, like anyone *really* gives two shits where you went to school or what kind of music you like. Did you REALLY put your phone number in your open profile? Did you really list where you currently work? Maybe that person you were such a creep to, can now go to where you work and complain to your manager about how awful you were while they were shopping there, even if they have never actually been to your job. Oh hell who am I kidding, most of these folks don't have jobs where you can do anything like that. (Why don't they put "drain on government resources" as their job?) But seriously? If you are a professional asswipe, at least make your profiles private so others can't enjoy seeing what a loser you are!

Money Scammers

I've had it up to !!HERE!! with customers who try to claim that they only have ____ when it's time to pay for an item. I'm not trying to single out any one nationality but a certain group of folks around here likes to buy stuff and claim they "only have a twenty" or "only have a fifty" when their total is significantly more. What really chaps my ass, is that they just whined their way into a discount on top of that! Take Long Duck Dong for example. (Yes truly he looks just like The Donger!) I used to like this guy when he came in but now when I see him, I know that it's going to be a painful transaction! He likes to trash whatever merchandise he's looking at, there is always a reason why he doesn't get whatever it is you have taken the time to remove from the display case and show him. If he does buy one it's like you are taking advantage of him. He likes to return things. He expects a 20 year warranty with every 90% off purchase; you get the idea. The other day he bought something, then decided five minutes later that the motor was bad, and got a refund, then spent 15 minutes looking at an item that I had to dig out of a display case to show him...and THEN announced it was not a good deal (yes 75% less than current retail price is such a ripoff!) and left the store. By the way, the item he claimed had a bad motor was in like-new condition. Now, the twenty-year-old whale-tail-sporting Honda Civic he drove off in, THAT needed a new motor! So he bought something and whined his way into a discount (I wasn't going to give him one because of his transaction history of returns and such but hey I'm just an employee). I gave him his total and he said, "I only have feeftee!" I repeated his total and he tried to do the turn-your-pocket-inside-out kind of routine. Bite me Donger, you cheap bastard! So I told him that's ok it will be here tomorrow if you want to come back. WHOA what is this? MORE money magically appears out of your empty pockets?? Amazing! To be fair it's not just the Long Duck Dongs, I've heard customers from all of White Trash Morondom wheedle their way out of the change portion of their orders a LOT lately. It goes without saying that I don't let them get away with it but hey I'm just a raging bitch like that. *When you buy your cigarettes, you don't tell the gas station clerk you only have five dollars! *When you buy your cheap booze at the liquor store, you don't get your bottles til you fork over your whole total! *When you pay your cable bill if you don't pay all of it they turn it off! DItto with your cell phone, internet, etc.! *If you don't pay for your fake nails, the tech doesn't do them for you! *When you buy your fake Chanel and Dolce bags, ...well ok maybe the flea market will dicker with you How would they like it if the state told them, sorry you only get $142 of your foodstamps this month! We don't have the .50 extra you are supposed to get. There would be MUTINY!

Hello Pot, this is the kettle calling!

Had to wait on a lady today who has a personality like nails on a chalkboard. Nails on a chalkboard would give me a migraine headache, and so does interacting with her.

She has dragon-lady nails with crackle AND glitter (she couldn't just settle on ONE white trash moron decoration). Gets her hair done by Bozo the Clown's colorist, has jewelry hanging off of her like a display rack at Goodwill. (I thought wearing 20 necklaces and bracelets at once was a figment of the Silpada catalogs!) Brags about all the trips she takes, goes to the casino, oh yeah and she's on disability. (She even giggled about how "the government is my boss!")

But my favorite thing about her? She dissed her husband for "spending every penny we make, he couldn't hold onto a dime to save his life". I'm sure he's wishing she would leave him so he could have a moment of peace. If I had to wake up every day and realize I was married to that, I'd be on disability too for terminal depression! Does he pray, anytime her plane takes off for one of her trips, that it might crash? Does he secretly hope that this time, there *IS* a terrorist on board who is successful?

Kobie Couple update

Mr. Kobie is in remission, and since I apparently expressed concern and compassion every time they came in for the last year, now his wife acts as if I want her emaciated, meth-eaten, unemployed husband with an out of control child. Yes, oh yes, please, I want nothing more than to lay underneath your skeletonized, reeking husband as he bemoans his Medicaid-funded cancer treatment!!! (yeah the one that cured him)

F*cktard Thursday!

Not sure what the deal is for today but it was a parade of idiots in and out.

*Long time customer (who does not always pay her loans) brings in a stack of games. She had called me first and I told her what we give for them; but this clearly didn't register. When she set her stack of games down on the counter, I had to give a few back to her because they were so damaged that they could not have possibly played. She insisted, "They just have some smears on them!" She said this so many times and was so emphatic that I was treating her unfairly, I finally asked her, "What did you smear them on, the sidewalk? Sandpaper?"

*Dumbass guy with white face paint/some other kinds of crap on his face and a hoodie came running towards my front door. From a distance it appeared as though he was wearing a mask and all I could think was that we were about to be robbed; when he got into the store he acted like it was so funny and cute, haw haw! I told him I almost set off our alarm, and he giggled more. Yes, that is hilarious! HAW HAW!

*Guy comes in after we normally close because I was too busy to lock the door on time. He said, "I'm glad you don't close til later because I barely made it!" No really you did NOT make it, did you not hear me yell at the other employee to lock the door and put up our CLOSED sign? I only said that because we are really open and I'm just messing with you!

Question of the Day

Why is it that those whose breath smells the worst, must breathe the hardest?

More Cat Pee Lady

Cat Pee Lady made another visit to pay her bills; I saw her coming and hurring to help someone else. Some days I can tolerate her, but those days seem to be fewer and farther apart anymore. If she "JUST" stunk, ok fine. If she "JUST" had her hangup with coins, well that's ok too. But all her idiosyncrasies together are simply more than I can handle while sober this week!

I overheard a lot of her interaction with the other employee; she kept acting coy and silly with the male employee who helped her, she likes him anyway so nothing new there. And then, just as I was thinking, "You could have helped her, she's doing fine today!", I heard her start in with the pennies! "Do I have this one? No wait don't take that one, I'm not sure if I have that one or not. Is that one different than this one, can you tell?"

Cat pee, Crazy, Compulsive: check, check, check!