More Pot and Kettle

I actually had a customer who is about five feet tall and five feet wide, ask me, "How did your ass get so big?" I replied, 'Hello pot, this is the kettle calling!" He didn't even have the intelligence to get it. Later after reflecting on it, I should have asked him, "I don't know, how DID you get so big?" This guy once felt it was necessary to tell me his penis is pierced (how he would find it under that belly is unknown) so really, he's not all there.
And my favorite of today; a couple came in to write a paycheck advance. Only, the problem was, they had lots of bounced checks. The wife was speaking for the husband because he didn't speak English well at all, and she kept insisting that they did not bounce any checks. I pointed out the minus signs sprinkled throughout their balance but she denied it to her last breath, NO bounced checks! So I turned to the last page that listed year to date overdraft fees (I could have purchased a lot of stuff with that money) and one line that listed overdraft fees for that month; she still denied it. "I did not pay that! They did not charge me that!" I apologized and told her I was unable to help her with a loan, and gathered her papers to give them back to her. As I turned to put my pen away she muttered to her husband and said, "Estupidos"! Really?? Are YOU that stupid? If you are going to call me names, at least pick something that isn't even remotely close to English. And for the record I know all those words too. I truly wanted to say something to her but, she's the loser who can't keep a dime in her bank account. Who's the estupida now?