"Grouchy Is as Grouchy Does!"

We have a couple of male customers who are just rude as a matter of course. They come in every month to pay their bills; they can't be bothered to be nice. I call them "Mister Sunshine" (not to their faces).

Typically they'll come into the store with a bill, toss it onto the counter. If I'm lucky they have removed it from the envelope. Sometimes they have not bothered to open the envelope; so I'll hand it to them and cheerfully say, "Well let's get that open and we'll see what's due." Apparently what they hear me say is, "Put your testicles in a visegrip and twist!" if their facial expressions are any kind of indication. Sometimes they've refused to open it themselves, but they only do that once. I just smile and walk away and say over my shoulder, "I'm going to help this lady/man and when you get that opened I'll be right back over." Even if they shred the envelope in anger, they open it. (You get yourself a case of raging paper cuts after a day of dealing with envelopes and you'll get the same attitude!)

When I ask them, "How much do you want to pay?", a standard Mister Sunshine answer is to rudely bark, "Whatsit say?" Well, gee, assmunch, it doesn't 'say' anything, it's a piece of paper! How am I supposed to read your mind? So now I just pick the largest amt the bill shows, which is usually the late fee amount, and say that out loud. Suddenly, they CAN indeed say what they want to pay, and they are usually very hateful when they say it. But hey, it's dialogue! Speak up, I'm not with Miss Cleo's psychic friends network!

As I hand them any change, and their receipt, I am sweetly, syrupy nice to them, smiling and friendly and SO happy to have had that interaction with them, thank you for blessing me with your presence! (Some of them act like that pisses them off even more! LOL)

God, I love being nice to grouchy buttholes.