"Hello, I can't hear you when you are an ass!"

Guy calls up today. We'll call him Kevin.
Kevin has been a loan customer for several years; mostly off but sometimes on. Today he calls to check on a loan, but he says, "I don't know if I have a loan there or not, if so I need to check and see, and what it is." Usually when people say this, they are fishing for information and they are not the person in question. He was rather annoyed when I asked for some personal identifying information (hey buddy, YOU called ME!) but gave it grudgingly. I found no loans open for the guy.

I told him I could not find anything but to hold on a second and I would look in the file to see what happened, since I could see the screen said he had lost a loan (we owned it). He started bitching right away. I came back onto the phone and informed him that his items had been pulled a month before, as they had been here over 90 days with no payments made on them. Law says we can pull them at 90 days, we waited 95 days, and he never showed up so they became ours to do with as we wished.

Kevin: WHAT? you WHAT???
Me: They were pulled last month, we gave you an extra week on top of the due date and never heard from you so we pulled them.
Kevin: What's that mean, you pulled them? You sold them? What? What the f-ck?
Me: Yes, we had them over three months and no payments were made on them so we pulled them.
Kevin: (getting irate and starting to yell at me) You what? You pulled them? (cursing and bitching and gnashing of teeth!)
Me: Please don't raise your voice to me, I can't hear you when you yell.
Kevin: What happened to my stuff? What did you do with it? I've had other things in there for five years and you never pulled it!
Me: Yes, but you PAID on those, that's why we didn't pull them.
Kevin: (yelling at me into the phone, cursewords of glorious proportions) That's such bullshit! (more name calling)
Me: Hello?? HELLO? HELLO? (bang phone on counter a few times for effect) HELLO? Are you there? I can't hear you....? Hello?
Kevin: (in a lower voice) HELLO! Yeah! You pulled my stuff! What the f-ck!!!
Me: Yes, like I said, we had no payments from you and didn't hear from you, we even gave you another week. In fact we pulled it over a month ago so you are calling four months after the loan date so we would have been holding onto it with no payments for even longer.
Kevin: So where is it????
Me: They have been sold, I'm sorry.
Kevin: (starts to raise his voice and be a total window licker!)
Me: Sir, I have no desire to argue with you on the phone. When you yell, I can't hear you. If you want to yell please come down in person and yell at me.
Kevin: (going on and on about how he can't believe we pulled it, what jerks we are, what a good customer he has been even though he really hasn't been...and he's doing this at full volume)
Me: Hello? HEllllllooooooooooooo?? Hey I can't hear him, is he still there...?? HELLO? Hello Kevin are you there??
Kevin: YOU G*DDAMNED C*CKSUCKERS YOU STOLE MY (item)!
As he's yelling, I'm saying louder and louder, "HELLO!! HELLO! Is anyone there?" It's just pissing him off more but frankly, if someone is going to have a tantrum like that and call names, I just don't care.
Finally he calmed down enough (I had said "Hell0" uncountable times by now) and said, "I want to talk to a manager!"
I told him I could help him. "No, I want the OWNER!"
Owner: How can I help you?
Kevin: repeats his same rant about losing his loan items.
Owner: Yes, but here are the terms (repeats them to him) and this is now day 120-something and the loan was due for pull at day 90 if you didn't pay, which you didn't. We waited an extra week and you are still calling over a month later?
Kevin proceeds to be just as rude to the owner, ending with "You've just lost a customer!" (Uh. well where have you been going the last five years, dildo head? Not with us! We aren't losing much if you don't pay for your loans right?)
Owner says, "Thanks for calling!" and hangs up.

Owner was waiting for Kevin to start the cocksucker rant with him, as he was going to tell him, "I'm sorry, your mom doesn't work here."
I bet the cursing would have been loud and proud after that! So, now, Kevin has a nice note on his file that will pop up if he comes in to do any business with us. It says, "Kevin thinks you are a g*ddamned C*cksucker, no more loans for him!"
Do you think he'll be back? I sure hope so. I can't wait to chant, "Hello? HELLO?" if he starts in with verbal abuse. That, and I think the Sheriff's department will get an 'intoxicated motorist' call after he leaves. He DOES smoke meth, all 6 foot tall and 150 pounds of him. "Yeah officer c*cksucker, this is my pipe!"
AHHH the joys of dealing with asswipe white trash morons!